"Every soul shall have a taste of death: And only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object (of Life): For the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception." (Al Imran Chapter 3 verse 185)

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Thoughts without flow.......

Do you ever wonder if you have made the right decisions? I mean……its been an eventful 2yrs for me. So may changes have occurred in my life, I’ve learnt more in these 2yrs than I have my whole life.They have encompassed the most painful times of my life and also the most happiest.

I have shed tears of pain and also of happiness. I have lost friends and family and gained new ones. I have stumbled across the harsh realities of life. I have realised that your family don’t necessarily include your relatives. One thing that I have learnt is however much you are there for a person, however much you stand by them, holding them firm. However much you put them before yourselves and help them in their time of need , even when you know you have more important things to do. The bottom line is you can’t expect a human being to show gratitude. Expecting someone to realize how much you have sacrificed for them is basically like setting yourself up for a life of misery. I mean how can I expect gratitude from a being that doesn’t show gratitude to its creator (forget me a mere mortal)!

Most of my friends know me as a happy go lucky type of person who takes things as they. Which I do….more so now than before. But underneath all the smiles and jokes, somewhere deep inside the cobwebs that make up my mind lives a confused girl lost somewhere at sea, trying to find her way ashore. When I meet people I do so with a clean heart and good faith ( as Allah is my witness). I try not to hurry in making negative assumption about people, instead I try to look for their positive side. Sometimes people take advantage of this character trait which makes me wonder why I tired so hard to find their good side (some people just dont have a good side unfortunately)

I come from a close knit family (I’m talking my nuclear family and my mum’s sister family). My mum and her sis are so close that both families see each other as an extended nuclear family. We have been through so much together and conquered so many obstacles, each bringing us even more closer. I was living away from everyone else so I had to go through my own obstacles and discovering the dark side of people (which wasn’t pleasant) and realizing who was there for me in my time of need. I have always been an independent person but sometimes there comes a time when you end up needing another human being. I pray to Allah to make me one who is dependant on Him and Him alone…..ameen. I pray Allah never puts me in a position where I have to rely on another human being…..ameen.

I will always try my best to be there for whoever needs my help, be it a friend or stranger. Because I believe if I want Allah help I have to help my fellow human beings (especially my Muslim brothers and sisters). I will readily help anyone if it is within my power……..even the ones who didn’t help me when I needed it (because this could be my big test in this world for all I know). I mean our life in this world is but a preparation for the hereafter where we would spend eternity. Its basically like when u sit for your exams….if you have done all the right things and worked hard then you will expect good grades but if you spent your time wasting it on mindless things instead of studying then you will surely fail. Our life here is like that exam…..if we have worked hard and performed righteous deeds then by the mercy of Allah we can expect the reward of Jannah.

I mean our whole life is for the sake of Allah and him alone. We are not here to impress our fellow human beings….we are here to worship Allah by doing what is halal and avoiding that which is haram. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of our lives we tend to forget this.

Right now am confused about the study choices I have made. I thought biomedical science was for me for me but I’m realizing that I am more suited to a more hands own type of course. I still want to be involved in science (I have real passion for learning about the workings of the human body. I just find it fascinating). There are so many things I want to do with my life but yet I don’t know where to begin. One thing is for sure, I want to be involved in a career where I am able to give something back to the community. I want to do these in an environment where I deal with people as opposed to sitting in lab dealing with their products. It’s my first year in uni and already I am going through a bout of confusion. But alhamdulillah, it’s better for me to realise that this might not be the course for me now rather than three years down the line (after dedicating a lot of time and effort to it).

What has brought all this on? It’s not even that time of the month for me yet…..and still I am experiencing all these emotions. It seems I have been going on and on about what is wrong in my life but let me just say that I am thankful for those people in my life who do look out for me and will look out for me. I am also grateful for the ones who will surprise me by having my back when I least expect it (because I still have hope that people like this might come along…….Allah (SW) always asks us to keep hope because we don’t know what is in store for us).

I guess it’s time for me to wrap up this post………I have ranted enough. Ya Allah increase the love between the ummah and help us conquer the whispers of the shaytan and guide us on the straight path……ameen


Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Wha wha wha............what?

I know I said that next time I blog it will something interesting……..but here I am once again writing rubbish. Hold on……isn’t that why I have a blog? So I can write anything and everything I want? Well it doesn’t matter if that’s the case or not coz I’m going to write this piece for the hell of writing. Actually I want to rant but I don’t know how I’m going to put it into words right now. It’s probably a good thing because right now is should be sleeping and if not at least doing some revision for my paper tomorrow. But what do you know…….I never do what I should be doing when I need to do it ( I think I just confused myself)

Anyway…apologies to Idealist. Girl I didn’t realise you were at the circle……and I was wearing my glasses so no excuses. Honestly though….I just thought you were at work…with you going through night shifts and all. Anyway I miss you homez…when are these shifts going to be over so that we can have coffee (and cake) and just catch up.

NM… better make sure you send that application on Thursday . Or else…………I’m going to leave you to fill in the blanks. Lol

MD……when I feel less tired I am going to write a blog as the “for shizo” NF. However I’m not promising anything…………..lool

WA….that impression of the squatting girls at a certain high school is still cracking me up…lool.

Its nearly 2am and I’m still awake……my sisters will be arriving in 6hours inshaAllah. I won’t be going to the airport to pick them up though…….I’ll be baby sitting little AbdulKareem. He is so cute mashaAllah. May Allah preserve his father for him again…ameen. Today his dad didn’t want to leave his son…….you should have seen the look on his face….the grown man wanted to cry. He was begging my mum to take good care of his son…….he kept saying “we only have each other……we have no other family with us”. SubhanAllah……..may Allah help us take good care of this man’s son……ameen.

Anyway peeps…….am going to try and sleep inshaAllah. Till next time ……may peace and love be with you all………. :)


Monday, May 22, 2006

I need to recharge

Ok, it’s been a long weekend. We were refurbishing the house and our target was to finish by Sunday night. We started on Thursday night.

Well it’s now Monday evening and we are done……well we were done on Sunday night actually. I’m in between exams….in fact I just came back from a chemistry paper. It was an ok paper….not good but not bad either. In between painting the whole house and revising for my exams am exhausted. Having the typical English weather of rain and cold air aint helping a bit. It’s May for god sake……we need some sunshine. I better not complain though….rain is a blessing (alhamdulillah ya Allah…..thank you for providing us with this rain).

My house is slowly turning into a full one. I remember five months ago I was just by myself in the big house… the house doesn’t feel big anymore (which is a great thing by the way). Two of my little sisters will be showing up soon and we are also going to be having a temporary addition to our family. His name is Abdul Kareem…..he is just under two and sooo cute. He will be staying with us coz his father is undergoing surgery (may Allah make it easy for him ameen, and may Allah also preserve Abdul Kareem’s father for him ameen). I will have a lil’ kid to run around and play with……am so happy. The icing on the cake will now be getting these exams over with. Three down and two to go. May Allah make the outcome of these exams one that is kheir for me…..ameen.

Anyway…this aint much of a post but let me recharge my batteries and then I’ll post something that is a little interesting inshaAllah :)


Sunday, May 21, 2006

Lost in a whirlwind

Somewhere in the west 2006

In a foreign land coz I have no peace

Fled to save my life, now I’m a refugee

Gained independence in the year 1960

Our grandfathers fought to gain liberation

Now we are scattered as citizens of other nations

Warlords shedding blood in the name of Qabil

Sixteen years on we still in a war

Still the same politics back and forth

Disregard for one another cripples our soul

We call ourselves Muslims, where did our iman go

Respect for humanity and the fear of Allah is gone

A whole nation thrown and fed to the dogs

The youth grows with questions of where they belong

All because we couldn’t get along

I ask myself is there still hope

A day where we wake up in the morn

And the Qabil you are won’t matter no more

Back to the days of being dignified people

Where we can say we from Somalia, strong and proud

I wonder is this a dream on a distant cloud?

I aint much of a poet. I'm not an artist, am a scientist. However this was the only way I could think of expressing myself right now. I'm just currently lost in web of emotions. Wish I could just sit here and type it all up, maybe gain some sort of "emotional deliverance" . I have so much to say but the words seem so little. Not enough to do justice to what lies in the crevices of my mind and soul right now. With this jumble of words I bid you farewell until I blog again.


Wednesday, May 17, 2006


She is the one who carried you for
nine months in her tummy,
the one who when she felt u kicking felt so happy.
Who when she gave birth to u felt so light,
the one who always prayed for u to have a future so bright.
The one who cried when u cried,
the one who will do anything just to see u smile
The one who always wanted to be there when the first things happened,
like when u uttered your first words.
The one who wouldn't exchange u for anything in the whole wide world.
The one who will always take u for who u are,
the one who will always care for u even though u tear her apart.
The one who will always think about u where ever u may be near or far,
the one who is always going to be the queen of my heart.
The one who's love cant be repaid or measured,
the one who is always going to be my treasure.
The one who accepts your apologies even though u make here feel so sad,
the one who holds u in her arms like u were a new born baby.
The one who will always love you even if u r good or bad,
the one I will always treat with respect, coz I love my mummy.

Dedicated 2 all the mothers in the world!!

If the whole world were to give up on me I know my mama would be right by my side loving me unconditionaly. For that I can never repay her.

Jannah lies at the feet of your mother so y'all best be seeking Jannah and kissing your mama's feet!

Peace, Love and Chicken Grease


Tuesday, May 16, 2006


incase you aint know I go by the name of Native Female and am from
Africa Africa
Home of the frankincense and myrrh. Am from Somalia. Eastside!
Africa Africa
So ama share with you where am from and how it was coming up
Africa Africa

So what you know about
The struggles that my ancestors went through so you could live the way you live now

Say what you know about
Seeing that brand new mother giving away her new born child

So what you know about
Mr M . A Hassan who the British army tried to shoot down

So what you know about
How people love to perceive us when we come into a brand new town

Now what you know about
The city of Seylac where all my people lived refined

What you know about
Being born in the struggle, avoiding bullets from the blue sky

Still from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Coming from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Coming from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Yes am coming from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa

So what you know about
Canjeero, soor, codkac and mufoo my favourite foods

So what you know about
Brothers throwing rocks, busting shots at the military invading my home

What you know about
Kids with automatic machines waiting for the war to get on their side

So what you know about
How God comes first in our lives, everything that we do is for ALLAH

So what you know about
That old land called Punt where perfume was sought

So what you know about
Coming here, getting money, investing it back home

Right in the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Give it to the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Take it to the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Send it right to the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa

See this was just a little piece about my the mother land.
Africa Africa
See we could come together and make it a lot better back home
Africa Africa
So don’t complain about how they treat you here, take your millions of pounds there
Africa Africa
We own that man, we own those diamonds
Africa Africa

Dedicated to all my African brothers and sisters. What they know about our ancient libraries in Timbuktu, our pyramids in Egypt , our gold and diamonds in South Africa, our oil in Nigeria……to name a few of our treasures. What they know about us!
Africa Africa
One love!!

Akon made a great song. If I had a car it will thumping loudly from it but for now my neighbours have to put up with my singing and loud music!
Africa Africa


Monday, May 08, 2006

Real World?!

Just watched dispatches on channel four. The topic was the condition of women in Iraq three years after the war. The documentary was just tear wrenching. I mean the people of Iraq are truly suffering! The documentary mainly focused on the lives of two women; Intisar who was a pharmacist and Rayaa a gynaecologist. These women worked to help the people of their country despite the curfews, shootings, short medical supplies, lack of equipment……and this is just a few of the obstacles they faced!

A whole nation shattered in the name of democracy. Their country destroyed and families’ torn apart, children orphaned. Mothers lose their sons, wives their husbands and sisters their brothers.

The country is in a state of pandemonium! The liberation they expected form the Americans and British is long overdue. Resentment for the occupying force rings loud from every corner.

The troops bombed hospitals and residential homes. The whole point of the war was to get rid of the dictator and to help build the country; instead it has turned into a competition of how many buildings can be destroyed in a day and how to rob the people of their assets with their eyes open.

Saddam, Bush and Blair are all dictators. The thing that sets Bush and Blair apart from Saddam is that they practice their dictatorship in other people’s countries and torture other nations. Why did they single Saddam out? Well, because he was willing to stand up to them and to show them that they weren’t that different from him.

The western world knows how to prosecute and bring to trial other nations dictators. That was the case with the Serbian dictator Milosevic (who massacred a great number of Muslims during his rule) who recently died. My conspiracy theory concerning his death was that he was killed by the American and British intelligence. The last time the Milosevic trial was broadcast Milosevic said that Clinton and Blair should stand to trial with him. He believed they were as guilty as he was. The UN (or was it NATO…I forget) lead thousands of Muslim Serb men into a trap and watched them being persecuted so I don’t find Milosevic’s idea illogical in the least bit.

Sitting here I wonder if this is what we are living with then what does the world have in store have for our future generations. I hope by the grace of Allah one day (soon) I am able to have children but I ask myself what kind of world I would be bringing them up in.

It is very perturbing because I know in order for things to get better they have to get worse first, much worse!