My Father

A fatherhood celebration being held on the 15th of December is causing me to reminisce. It has made me realise that this is one of the things we are lacking (especially in our community). We seem to devote lot of time appreciating our mothers (and quite rightly so), but in rushing to praise our mothers we tend to neglect our fathers.

As a daughter I tend to empathise more with my mother because I have seen the physical and emotional pain that a mother goes through for her children. My mama carried me and my siblings for 9mnths and has taught me a lot of life skills.

My father did not carry me for 9mnths (if he did he would probably be named as one of the wonders of the world....lool) but I can assure you that he went through his own mental and physical hurdle with our births (I witnessed this when my baby brother was born). As a child in kindergarten my baba was this kind man who always found the time to answer my many questions (and there were many questions....believe me!) and indulge my imagination. As my mother taught me the practical things in life my baba was grooming me mentally. At the age of three I remember him giving me kids section of the Sunday Nation (a news paper in Kenya) as he read up on the current affairs in the world.....I would be sitting next to him, imitating his pose and reading up on the current of affairs of what was then my world (the adventures of Tin Tin and Denis the Menace.....I was an early developer). I remember when he used to correct my mispronunciations of words such as nation which I would read natyon.....loool. One of my fondest memories is my baba buying me my first novel at the age of seven (David Copperfield by Dickens....published by Penguin) which I read with his help and a dictionary.

As I reached the ages of 8 to 11, my father employed other ways of teaching me about the world. Since I was the eldest my father decided to teach me about responsibility, tolerance and patience. At the time I wasn’t fond of his methods as I believed they interfered with whatever life I had. I was to do chores (even though we had a maid), I had to look after my sibling whenever we went out without my parents (I used think it was a curse being the oldest......my mentality was why me?) and I was also to lead by example (this was just too exhausting as I had to think twice about everything I did......how would my sibling perceive it?). I started resenting my father for this no nonsense tough approach..........I just started thinking that he didn’t understand me :(

During my teenage years I lived away from home (which was kinda tough) but I have to say that these years have made me who I am. This was the perfect medium for me to put into practice all that I had learnt from my father and mother. As I grew I hated the fact that I had lost the childhood bond that I had with my father ( I remember the days when I used to curl next to him in the morning before work and just talk.....he always listened to me attentively even though I was two or three and probably talking nonsense). In the last ten years I have come to appreciate my father a lot more. I have come to realise (alhamdulillah) that even though at times I thought that he was singling me out, he was only after my best interest. Those that love you are the ones that tell you about your faults......this is so true. A few years ago when I went back home (first time in seven years) I remember watching television with my little sister when an advert came on. It showed this little three year old that dropped one of her wooden toys in a miniature water hole (I think). The girl wanted to get her toy back but the hole was too deep, so she walks away (at this point you think she has given up) but she comes back with a container filled with stones which she drops one by one in the hole. Soon the water rises and she gets her toys :) As we are watching this my sister turns to me and says "every time abo sees this video he says that she reminds him of you". I was grinning like there was no tomorrow :D in fact I grin every time I remember this......

My baba has taught me a lot about kindness, tolerance, patience, self control......He has always remained calm through any adversity (it is a rare sight to see my father without a hair in place whatever the circumstance). He has taught me to keep my trust in a Higher power. When I realised this I wrote him a letter of appreciation. Boy was it an essay......all ten pages of it. It was time my father knew how I felt about him and how much he means to me. After receiving this letter he called me and we had the longest phone conversation in the history of my father....loool, it was pleasant. I have realised that my father loved me from the moment he felt me move inside my mama..........this is a feeling that I can’t put into words....

Now as an adult, my father is my advisor and confidante. He is my best friend......the one that never fails to calm me down. Although he hasn't lost that look of authority that intimidates everyone (including me)......I have just learnt to interpret that look as wisdom (it is all about perception at the end of the day...). In my family my mother is the fiery one while my father is like the rain on a hot summer day.....cool and refreshing :)

I thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to know such a great man and for granting me the ability to show my appreciation......alhamdulillahI pray that Allah rewards my parent for all the hard work they have done on our behalf. I pray that Allah keeps them with us for many years to come and grants them Janatul Firdows.

Thank you Paradise for reminding me of what a great man my father is......jazakillah kheyran