NATIVE FEMALE

IT'S OFFICIAL

2009-01-28T22:09:00.003Z

Under Siege

2009-01-18T01:52:00.002Z

Here on the slopes of hills, facing the dusk and the cannon of time

Close to the gardens of broken shadows,

We do what prisoners do,

And what the jobless do:

We cultivate hope.

***

A country preparing for dawn. We grow less intelligent

For we closely watch the hour of victory:

No night in our night lit up by the shelling

Our enemies are watchful and light the light for us

In the darkness of cellars.

***

Here there is no "I".

Here Adam remembers the dust of his clay.

***

On the verge of death, he says:

I have no trace left to lose:

Free I am so close to my liberty. My future lies in my own hand.

Soon I shall penetrate my life,

I shall be born free and parentless,

And as my name I shall choose azure letters...

***

You who stand in the doorway, come in,

Drink Arabic coffee with us

And you will sense that you are men like us

You who stand in the doorways of houses

Come out of our morningtimes,

We shall feel reassured to be

Men like you!

***

When the planes disappear, the white, white doves

Fly off and wash the cheeks of heaven

With unbound wings taking radiance back again, taking possession

Of the ether and of play. Higher, higher still, the white, white doves

Fly off. Ah, if only the sky

Were real [a man passing between two bombs said to me].

***

Cypresses behind the soldiers, minarets protecting

The sky from collapse. Behind the hedge of steel

Soldiers piss—under the watchful eye of a tank—

And the autumnal day ends its golden wandering in

A street as wide as a church after Sunday mass...

***

[To a killer] If you had contemplated the victim’s face

And thought it through, you would have remembered your mother in the

Gas chamber, you would have been freed from the reason for the rifle

And you would have changed your mind: this is not the way

to find one’s identity again.

***

The siege is a waiting period

Waiting on the tilted ladder in the middle of the storm.

***

Alone, we are alone as far down as the sediment

Were it not for the visits of the rainbows.

***

We have brothers behind this expanse.

Excellent brothers. They love us. They watch us and weep.

Then, in secret, they tell each other:

"Ah! if this siege had been declared..." They do not finish their sentence:

"Don’t abandon us, don’t leave us."

***

Our losses: between two and eight martyrs each day.

And ten wounded.

And twenty homes.

And fifty olive trees...

Added to this the structural flaw that

Will arrive at the poem, the play, and the unfinished canvas.

***

A woman told the cloud: cover my beloved

For my clothing is drenched with his blood.

***

If you are not rain, my love

Be tree

Sated with fertility, be tree

If you are not tree, my love

Be stone

Saturated with humidity, be stone

If you are not stone, my love

Be moon

In the dream of the beloved woman, be moon

[So spoke a woman

to her son at his funeral]

***

Oh watchmen! Are you not weary

Of lying in wait for the light in our salt

And of the incandescence of the rose in our wound

Are you not weary, oh watchmen?

***

A little of this absolute and blue infinity

Would be enough

To lighten the burden of these times

And to cleanse the mire of this place.

***

It is up to the soul to come down from its mount

And on its silken feet walk

By my side, hand in hand, like two longtime

Friends who share the ancient bread

And the antique glass of wine

May we walk this road together

And then our days will take different directions:

I, beyond nature, which in turn

Will choose to squat on a high-up rock.

***

On my rubble the shadow grows green,

And the wolf is dozing on the skin of my goat

He dreams as I do, as the angel does

That life is here...not over there.

***

In the state of siege, time becomes space

Transfixed in its eternity

In the state of siege, space becomes time

That has missed its yesterday and its tomorrow.

***

The martyr encircles me every time I live a new day

And questions me: Where were you? Take every word

You have given me back to the dictionaries

And relieve the sleepers from the echo’s buzz.

***

The martyr enlightens me: beyond the expanse

I did not look

For the virgins of immortality for I love life

On earth, amid fig trees and pines,

But I cannot reach it, and then, too, I took aim at it

With my last possession: the blood in the body of azure.

***

The martyr warned me: Do not believe their ululations

Believe my father when, weeping, he looks at my photograph

How did we trade roles, my son, how did you precede me.

I first, I the first one!

***

The martyr encircles me: my place and my crude furniture are all that I have changed.

I put a gazelle on my bed,

And a crescent of moon on my finger

To appease my sorrow.

***

The siege will last in order to convince us we must choose an enslavement that does no harm, in fullest liberty!

***

Resisting means assuring oneself of the heart’s health,

The health of the testicles and of your tenacious disease:

The disease of hope.

***

And in what remains of the dawn, I walk toward my exterior

And in what remains of the night, I hear the sound of footsteps inside me.

***

Greetings to the one who shares with me an attention to

The drunkenness of light, the light of the butterfly, in the

Blackness of this tunnel!

***

Greetings to the one who shares my glass with me

In the denseness of a night outflanking the two spaces:

Greetings to my apparition.

***

My friends are always preparing a farewell feast for me,

A soothing grave in the shade of oak trees

A marble epitaph of time

And always I anticipate them at the funeral:

Who then has died...who?

***

Writing is a puppy biting nothingness

Writing wounds without a trace of blood.

***

Our cups of coffee. Birds green trees

In the blue shade, the sun gambols from one wall

To another like a gazelle

The water in the clouds has the unlimited shape of what is left to us

Of the sky. And other things of suspended memories

Reveal that this morning is powerful and splendid,

And that we are the guests of eternity.

Mahmoud Darwish

Dua for our brothers and sisters in Gaza

2009-01-07T15:35:00.003Z

On Tuesday, the Israelis launched an attack on a school run by the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (Unrwa) in the northern town of Jabaliya.

The attack left 43 Palestinians dead and around 100 wounded.

Doctors said all the dead were either people sheltering in the school or residents of the nearby Jabaliya refugee camp.

John Ging, director of operations in Gaza for Unrwa, said they regularly provide the Israeli army with exact geographical co-ordinates of its facilities.

He also called for the Israelis to allow an international investigation into the incident

At least 683 Palestinians have been killed in Gaza and nearly 3,085 wounded since the war began on December 27. Seven Israeli soldiers and three civilians have died in the same period.

Amid all this President Elect Obama is 'deeply concerned'. That doesnt help the people of Gaza

Source aljazeera english

Tel Aviv views as 'positive' an Egyptian initiative which calls for an end to the ongoing hostilities and bombardments in the Gaza Strip.

"Israel thanks the Egyptian president and the French president for their efforts to advance the solution to end the terrorist activity from Gaza and stop weapons smuggling from Egypt into Gaza," an Isreali spokesman Mark Regev said.

This is while Tel Aviv's airstrikes on the blockaded costal sliver have entered their 12th day, and its ground military incursion has reached its fifth day.

The all-out attack on Gaza was initially launched under the pretext of halting Palestinian's retaliatory rocket attacks. Later, however, Israel unveiled that the main objective of the onslaught was to topple the democratically-elect government of Hamas.

"Israel sees positively the dialogue between Egyptians and Israelis in order to advance these issues," Regev added, but failed to say whether Israel would send a delegation to Egypt to discuss the initiative.

On Tuesday, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak presented a plan for an immediate ceasefire between Israelis and Palestinians in the Gaza Strip.

The plan would require Israel and the Palestinian factions to accept an immediate ceasefire for a limited period, which would open safe passages for humanitarian aid to Gaza and give Egypt time to continue its efforts for a comprehensive and lasting ceasefire.

the development comes while authorities as well as people around the world have taken to the streets to condemn and call for an end to the Israeli attacks on Gaza, with some describing the killing of Palestinians as 'genocide' and 'holocaust'.

Since Israel unleashed its aerial and sea campaign against Gazans on December 27, at least 666 Palestinians have lost their lives and more than 2,950 others - most of whom are civilians - have been injured.

MP/MMN

Source Press TV

So Israel is offering the Gazans a 3hr ceasefire. 10minutes into that ceasefire gunshots were heard in parts of Gaza. Experts say that 3hrs isnt enough to distribute the aid that is being brought in because of the amount of checkpoints it has to go through. There is a shortage of medical supplies and doctors. The injured are being treated on hospital floors since they are overflowing. The generators are dying since there are shortages of fuel. Walahi if I was qualified in any medical way I would go to Gaza and help them. All we can do now is protest, donate, draft letters, raise awareness and most important of all make dua. Israel might be the 4th largest super power but Allah 'aza wa jal is mightier. They should remember that God's court has no appeal and they will be accounatble for the atrocities they are inflicting on these poor civilians. Majority of those dead are children and women.

In their quest to wipe Hamas Israel has created millions of Hamas across the world.

Be patient people of Gaza, verily Allah is with the patient!

She is back.....atleast she thinks she is

2008-11-29T13:27:00.000Z

So it has been a while since I have updated this blog. I guess this is the time when I should tell you how busy life has been and that I haven’t had a moment to myself. That is true.....I have been busy but also lazy. It will be a lie if I said I didn’t have a moment to update.....I did. What I didn’t have was the motivation or so called creativity that it takes to update this blog. This is my sorry attempt at an apology for neglecting my corner..................

What have I been up to? Since September I have been back at uni.....on my new course. No, I gave upon my ambitions to be a doctor instead I have decided to work in the allied health field. I am studying prosthetics and orthotics and before you get a confused (which is a common reaction by the way) let me explain what it entails. Prosthetics is the replacement of a body part while orthotics is correcting a deformed or deviated body part. In prosthetics I am specialising in the limbs (upper and lower) while in orthotics it is the limbs plus the torso.
School is taking up a lot of my time. However it is fun, I haven’t enjoyed a course this much in a long time. Infact I haven’t been terrified while at the same time having a feeling of contentment about academic/career future like this. I love what I am doing so far.......it’s very diverse so not boring. I study mechanics, anatomy, manufacturing and the best bit, I get to play with tools and get my hands dirty. Although by the end of my workshop classes I am so out of it as I have been on my feet for 6-7hrs.

My social life is currently on some kind of a hiatus. Although I am trying to somewhat revive it. Somewhat being the key word here lol

I am still looking for a job as the credit crunch is starting to bite me in the a** big-time. inshaAllah kheyr anyway.

I forgot how satisfying it was to put my thoughts on screen. Maybe I will get back to being a regular again......make dua

This is enough for now......I am off to write a 300wrd essay about a conference I attended.

I leave you all with kheyr inshaAllah

RAMADHAN KAREEM

2008-08-31T21:59:00.002+01:00

I just want to take a moment to wish you all a blessed ramadhan.

May Ar-Rahmanś light surround us, His love enfold us, His power protect us, His presence guide us and His blessings pour over us always.....ameen thuma ameen

May Allah make our heart fertile for iman, our tongue flexible for dhikr, our body fit for íbada, our life firm for jihad and our death an easy visa to janatul Firdaus....ameen thuma ameen

Once again Ramadhan mubarak brothers and sisters in Islam....may it be month full of positive changes inshaAllah

I leave you all with kheyr inshaAllah

Till next time ma salam

Bish Bash Bosh

2008-04-07T11:07:00.000+01:00

Salam y'all!!

So here I am on a Monday morning. First day of the semester I’m already cutting class. Although in my defence it is a boring class, and by boring I mean I would rather chew my nails (this coming from a girl who doesn’t even bite her nails).

So I’ve been well. Just been trying to take advantage of the Easter break (or spring break as my friends on the other side of the pond call it). It has been a busy two weeks. I had plans of relaxing, spending most of it in my pj’s and mopping around. Then again we plan and Allah plans. I had family come over….some I met before and others I was meeting for the first time. It was surprisingly nice. Most of them were the same age group as my parents but we got along good. I met two new cousins (to be fair they weren’t new….just new to me) around the same age group as me. They were siblings but I met them on separate days. Met the brother first….he seemed nice, although we only spent less than five minutes together. The sister on the other hand I spent longer with…..a whole afternoon. Super girl…..timid but strong and she is also funny (great sense of humour). Quite clever as well…..came up with this cool contraption for my kitchen.

Highlight of the week was going to White African’s wedding party. It was beautiful…..mashaAllah. I enjoyed myself immensely and the bride looked gorgeous……mashaAllah. It was a chance for me to meet the gang. It has been a while since we were all under the same roof at the same time. Made some new friends. Picked up some new dance moves. And all this while looking hot (hey….I gotta stroke the ego….I need it lol)

May White African be blessed with a marriage filled with kheyr and barakah and may you and your hubby be the ones that elevate each other to a higher status in Jannah. Ameen thuma ameen

Bring on the next aroos…….it has been wedding season up here. Seems like the girls are all getting knocked down one by one like a bowling pin (not a great analogy I know…..but its Monday and I’m slow). Ever, White African then inshaAllah Naima.

Wonder who is next?

I leave you with Salam and barakah

InshaAllah kheyr

Like a headless chicken

2008-03-17T14:35:00.001Z

I know I don’t tend to update as much as I should but this semester has been super busy. Stuff, stuff and more stuff! Yea, big tings a gwan and I a try to tackle dem. Seriously though…..bear with me. I have a crazy load of assignments and exams to revise for, applications to reply to, send and review. Couple that with my actual personal life...............its busy busy! So please, please, please……make lots of dua for this Native inshaAllah

Fee aman Allah guys!

Another year bites the dust!

2008-02-12T15:59:00.000Z

It’s a glorious day today. It’s the day I came into the world….covered in amnion and screaming my lungs out. Two weeks overdue and letting everybody know it lol. That’s right, Native is celebrating her birthday. A year has gone by………I don’t feel taller and I’m none the wiser. My biggest disappointment though is that my shoe size didn’t grow…..I’m still stuck at 3 (that’s UK size by the way……US size 5.5 and Euro size 35.5) , I am still clinging on little hope. Can a 20 something year old increase in shoe size? Weirder stuff has happened lol

My shoe size aside…..when I was 10yrs old I thought that by the time I celebrated my 23rd b’day…. I would have been done with school, have a family of my own and at least know how to drive.

Well I’m still in school, and I haven’t learned how to drive yet (probably because I will spend most of my time getting lost or in my thoughts while driving. My parents have been pushing me to drive since God knows when….maybe I’ll do that before my next b’day). Family of my own…..that’s another issue that deserves a post of its own.

My goal for this year? To get through life…….the rest will fall into place inshaAllah

I’ll post more later (or more accurately another day) inshaAllah, right now I want you all to make dua that this year is one that is filled with kheyr for all of us ameen

May Allah grant all the mu’mineen more years to spend in his worship and may Allah guide the misguided and make us of the guided ameen

Drama Drama Drama Part 1

2008-01-29T19:41:00.000Z

This has also been done in a hurry like my previous post so please read with patience!

I know it has been a bit but before you start praying jannazah for my corner of the blogsphere let me just say I’m sorry. I should have regularly updated!
However I can’t promise that my I won’t do it again. Such is Native’s life these days. Too hectic!

Anyway guys…………a lot has happened since I last blogged. We have entered a new year in both the Gregorian calendar and Islamic calendar. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated and the Pakistan elections delayed. Mozambique was and still is going through a flooding disaster. Heath Ledger died of possible drug overdose (sleeping pills) and Kenyans went to vote and got disappointed (the majority anyway). Political situation there is unstable and they say the country is in a state of anarchy. It’s worrying because my whole family lives there………but inshaAllah kheyr.

School has been eventful. Never has so much drama unfolded in the space of a few months. We are halfway through the 2nd semester and already a hell of a lot has happened!

Let me first introduce to you a few more characters:

Mr Playboy: This is the tutor. Overly confident and sure of himself. Knows his stuff and a good teacher in his specialist subject. However even though he appears confident I think he has self esteem issues…….always talks about ethos he demonstrated he clearly can’t keep.

The latecomer: Walks in late for every lecture clutching a hot cup of coffee. Can be a bitch but what you see is what you get with her. She keeps it real, always hangs out with the Black guy an the Twisted guy

Ms Nice: I might be biased toward this person as I have known her forever. We live together and share all the lectures and tutorials. She is my other half according to the rest of the class………..she is the good cop and I’m the bad cop. Seems nice at first but once her she reaches her threshold…………let’s just say I don’t want to be there when sh*t hits the fan!

So this is what’s been going on…………

The Token gay has gone part-time due some family problems (his mother is ill) and the Zionist has made a return.

Ms helpful and Good looking girl were accused and reported of cheating by Over-eager guy. Fortunately for them the matter was worked out with the discretion of the tutor and class.

Two of our lectures were under moderation due to complaints raised by the class……

Back to the cheating drama………it was our first physics paper and we were all anxious especially those that have never done physics before. The paper wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and most aced it. Only two out of twenty failed!

So Good looking girl and Ms Helpful were sitting near each other with Over eager guy sitting in the same row too. Good looking girl was having problems with one of the questions and got some help from Ms Helpful. Over eager guy was really struggling with the paper.

Two weeks later (on Thursday) we got our results and Ms Helpful and Good looking girl did great the each scored over 85%. Over eager guy didn’t do as well.

Friday (of the same week we got our physics papers back), Mr Playboy announces to the class that he received an anonymous email about two people (who had been named) cheating in the paper. This was in the morning…….through playing mind games with the class (by announcing to the class……then mentioning that the person needs to come clean if they have the correct morals and ethics of becoming a doctor . Within a few hours, Over eager guy was confessing to the class (everybody accused the ‘emailee’ of being a coward and making accusations without depth). The class called for an investigation and for the ‘cheaters’ to be kicked of the course. At this point they all thought it was Ms Nice and I.

I spoke to Over eager guy and told him to report my name if I was the one of the two that cheated.
“You don’t hold my fate in your hands guy and if I am to succeed in this it wouldn’t be because of you. I have faith in a higher power and what is meant to be will be” I said. Little did I know that Ms Nice said more or less the same thing a few minutes ago.

Anyway it turned out it wasn’t us and all was good on our part…….however tension is now thick and very evident in the class. Nobody likes Over eager guy or feels comfortable around him (who likes a grass). He only accused the two because they scored more than him and he only respects us because he thinks we will beat him (or at least hire people to) since we live in the ghetto ( we don’t even have the time of the day for him)

Good looking girl can’t stand Ms Helpful, however she pretends to be her best friend. Ms Helpful and Good looking both pretend to still like Over eager guy but when he is not around they say things behind his back.

Good looking girl says things behind everybody’s back.

Ms Nice and I always stay in the background…..we spend our school hours in lectures or the library. A lot of our classmates are intimidated by our closeness because they have take on two us as we come in a pair.

There is so much more but will fill you all in another day……my eyes are watering and my fingers are tired.

There is way more to come lol……if you’ve not already had enough of this that is.

P.S I wanna beat the crap out of most people in the class with a cane like they did in Africa so I can teach them a lesson. Most of them are worse than a bunch of pre-teens!

The update?

2007-11-10T22:51:00.000Z

So it been a while since I wrote anything on my so called corner of the blog-sphere. I have a bit to say, I just can't find the time to say it. Full-time studying and the fact that my laptop has finally given up on me has taken its toll on my regular updates.

I did this in a hurry so overlook any mistakes and read with patience! :)

What been happening in my life then?

I went back to school....yea, I am back to being a trampy student. Jeans, converses and weathered book bag......hold on...I've always looked like that lol. I was getting confused there for a minute. So anyway...am back at school, studying once more with all these different characters.

The token gay guy: for the first two weeks I kept looking for the new girl in the class only to find that it was him....he has a soft high-pitched voice and wants to do us to dinner some time lol. He works as a dietitian so he gives me a lot of tips on where to find gluten free products (that's cool).

The good looking guy: and he is Somali. Kind and helpfull guy but overcritical and impatient. He is a very good looking guy and every time the other girls see me with him I get these weird looks (for some reason he likes to hang with me...maybe coz I remind him of prayer times). Now here's the shocker.....I don't fancy him. I am known to be a naturalist and appreciate natures beauty but he just doesn't do it for me.....

The good looking girl: tall (5,11"), beautiful....she is due to apply to Britain's top model. There's my call to fame! She is a nice girl and always asks me questions about Islam (she is a non-practising roman Catholic). She thinks I am cool coz I am always laid back and chilled out (kinda like a person high on weed....but I am clean.....no really I am!).

The over eager guy: He is a sweetheart.....spends ridiculous amounts of time researching universities, courses, class notes, lectures, concepts. You name it and he probably has a mini book on it. Always asking questions and a real hard-worker. I suppose he has a lot to prove since he sustained a head injury a few years back and spent a lot of time in hospital.

The black guy: Lives in the same hood as me. Call us his posse.....and generally jokes around. He has travelled extensively in South East Asia but if you see him you wouldn't think so. Loves his women (true black man in that sense lol). Keeps it real!

The gossip: This girl wants to know each and everyone's life story. The most inquisitive person I have ever met (about other people life) and she doesnt shy away from akward questions either. She talks for England and then some too!

The class clown: middle class white boy who fancies himself as a bit of joker and in his defence he is funny most of the time. He is also the trampy dressed boy who is a bit of an activist. Always wears these cool t-shirts that make a statement (I want his t-shirts.....) He pulls these classic faces that are just rib aching (yea...I still find funny faces funny)

The Zionist: He did two years in the Israeli army always flaunts it in the face of Muslims. Tells us about how he is a devout follower of his religion (good on him) and how he believes in the Israeli right to independence (he is entitled to his own opinion). Has these dark stunning, long eye-lashes! Quit the course.....maybe because of the overwhelming number of Muslims?

Ms helpfull: Knows when all assignments are due....always helping me withe extra notes. Calling me in the morning so I don't run late...calls me her daughter (she is around 36). Drives a nice black 4x4 with tinted windows which sometime parks in the middle of the car park (the part where the drive in and not park). She says I am a 'no-nonsense spiritual'. Her grandfather is from Muslim Yemeni (in that sense I say she my sister) but she is a Christian. Says she wants to find me man (according to her I would go for a tall athletically built guy who is laid back......that would be nice.....these days I don't have types any more...)

The twisted guy: This guy is really f***ed up! He spreads rumour and verbally abuses people in his language (I understand some of the words he says). He pretends to be everyone friend but he is there to use everyone (so he can get form point A to point B). The first thing he asked me was how much of the Qur'an I memorised...a few days later he told me he works with Jinns and they helped him find his missing sister. He is constantly swearing and saying he aint Somali (thank God he aint......plus it is crystal clear to everyone he a non-Somali as he is white Arab). I can't stand him and I believe he is aware of it.......probably writing down a hex for me....I have Allah as my protector (inshaAllah kheyr)

A few weeks back the class clown wore a t-shirt that said 'FREE PALESTINE'. The Zionist made a huge deal about, asking him to take it off as he was offended. He asked whether the class clown would feel comfortable if he wore a t-shirt that said 'I support the 7/7 terrorist'. The class clown backed down and promised not to wear the t-shirt again.
I wasn't there when this happened...I walked into class a few minutes later. I was so p***ed off with the class clown. I asked him if he believed in what the t-shirt say and he said he did. Then why back down for something you believe in huh? Why suppress your freedom of expression?
I told the Zionist I didn't share his believes or freedom. He wore an Israeli army sweatshirt that I found offensive but I didn't curb his freedom of expression.
My sister asked if the logo had a picture of a bumble bee (it was a hornet according to him) and he was so offended, he looked like he was gonna cry. We didn't even know that we hit a nerve. Apparently she bruised his manhood without even trying. Maskeen

Overall I have a lot of fun in class...so far everything is going good. The lectures are bearable and I am right on track, alhamdulillah. My classmates in general are nice people and there is a warm atmosphere (even the lecturers have commented on it), we are keen to help each other and keep it real with each other too.

RAMADHAN KAREEM SISTERS AND BROTHERS IN ISLAM

2007-09-13T21:36:00.000+01:00

Salaam all. Believe it or not the Month of mercy is upon us once more. Alhamdulillah we have once again been blessed with the opportunity to better ourselves. To tighten our ties with the Merciful and to seek forgiveness and guidance. This is the month when a great number of people (can’t remember the actual number) will be saved from Hell Fire. It is the month of Rahma….when we are surrounded by Allah’s mercy, tranquillity and the gates of paradise are wide open. It is the month of guidance…..the shayaatins are locked in shackles and the gates of Hell Fire are shut.

Sisters and brothers in Islam, let us make the most of this Ramadhan. Only Allah is aware if we will witness the next one. Let us use this month as a stepping stone to increase our imaan, to get closer to our creator and exercise some self control. InshaAllah I pray we all improve our Islamic character however small or big it may seem.

May we be among the ones saved form the Hell Fire on this Month of Mercy. I pray that we are all granted what is kheyr . May we benefit and make the most of Ramadhan. May the Angels always protect us and may happiness and blessing always surround us. May Allah’s love enfold us, may His power protect us, may his presence guide us and his blessing pour over us always.
Ameen thuma ameen.

InshaAllah kheyr

THNX!!

2007-07-26T14:06:00.000+01:00

Where has summer gone?

By the way guys......jazakumullahu kheyran for the dua.....I got accepted onto the course alhamdulillah.

Now make dua for me that I pass it with flying colours inshaAllah :)

Till soon.....inshaAllah kheyr!

Yada Yada Ya

2007-07-15T02:43:00.000+01:00

So I have resolved my issues with wringing the neck of a certain someone…..I did some Tae Bo and got rid of the pent up energy I had alhamdulillah.

Still broody!

Saw a few of my homegirls today…..I haven’t seen any of them for over two weeks so it was well worth it. We just kicked back, shared jokes and had dinner together which was great mashaAllah.

Another thing, I am little bit confused about my feelings towards someone. I’m not sure if what I am feeling is something that has depth or if it is an idea that has been planted in my head. I talked to my sister about it as she knows us both…..she thinks my feelings are significant. According to her they convey something about my psyche. What does it convey? That’s the not so little mystery. Whether this is a positive thing or not….I don’t know. Bottom line though….I am feeling something, I just need to put a name to it.

InshaAllah kheyr

Random...ness

2007-07-11T22:17:00.000+01:00

Ever felt the need to wring someone’s neck? Well that’s how I felt this time last week. However I had to hold my tongue and act the fool to the provocations thrown at me. I have to say I am quite proud of myself for accomplishing that because lately I have been having a problem with holding back my tongue.
My mouth kept its peace but I have to say it was the most difficult week ever. The only good thing that came out of it was the fact that my gut feeling was proven right, however much I tried to ignore it was proven right.

Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom. My next door neighbour has given birth to a beautiful baby boy with the most amazing bed of hair on his head mashaAllah. The hospital she was booked in was full therefore she had to go to another hospital which was far. She nearly gave birth inside the car but alhamdulillah she got to the hospital on time, with only 20minutes to spare. That’s the new addition to the street. Our next door neighbour is practically family so it’s like having another baby in the house. Which makes me broody. I mean I am so broody its not even normal. I want a baby. Every time I say that though I get this look from everyone as if I am indirectly saying I want a husband. Can you imagine it, people looking at you that way (thinking ‘girl just needs some). No I don’t….well I’m not that desperate for some. If I needed to get laid I wont say I want a baby….I’ll say I need a husband.

You know what….I think I need to cut this short before I incriminate myself further. Its been therepeutic :)

InshaAllah kheyr

Things

2007-06-30T23:50:00.000+01:00

So…it has been a very wet week….mashaAllah a lot of baraka, alhamdulillah. Been busy trying to sort out stuff that needed sorting out….hopefully my efforts would prove fruitful inshaAllah.

Still waiting on details for the course that I applied to….if all goes to plan it should arrive through the post on Monday inshaAllah…then I would know if they have accepted me or not. Make some dua for me guys coz I really want this. InshaAllah kheyr.

What is going on?
-Well one friend is busy with wedding planning…..been trying to get hold her, so if you read this before I get hold of you…call me! You know who you are! And no……I’m not in hiding…..at least not intentionally.
-Three others flew to Bangladesh this Friday. I hope they have a great time and come back safe to us inshaAllah.
-Another one is in France for a week.
-A few others are basking in the sun in Egypt.

Me? I am stuck in England…anxious about my course application….anxious about getting a job…..anxious about the amount of student debt I am going to acquire while studying. Owing money scares the hell out of me but inshaAllah kheyr.
Another reason I am also stuck here is the several appointments that I have. Had my follow consultation on Friday, and alhamdulillah it was good news. There is only 7% of damage in my stomach and it is reversible but only if I stick to the diet plan. I have an appointment with the dietician in two weeks (inshaAllah) to devise that plan. Two months from now (inshaAllah) I have a bone scan to review the density of my bones; people with my condition usually have a calcium deficiency which causes weak bones. In four months time inshaAllah) I have another follow up with the consultant to see how the diet is going and if I still need to be on medication.
On top of that I need to sort out my student papers and that might take four weeks or so

Once I stop being anxious and get the money I am going away on holiday somewhere and taking a well deserved chill pill. inshaAllah

Make dua for me guys!
Also make dua for everyone going through hard times (I know I will be inshaAllah)

Till next time….whenever that is…..inshaAllah kheyr

Yin and Yang

2007-06-29T12:11:00.000+01:00

You know when sometimes you have a grim outlook of the future without even realising it. Until an alternative route to your goal shows itself and you realise how much you were searching for one. Then without knowing you rest most of your hope on this different route whilst knowing that there’s a 70%-30% chance you will make it……30% being the chance you might make it. You sleep dreaming of the possibilities and even though you know you might fall really hard if it doesn’t go your way.
So why I’m I doing this to myself?

On a more positive note…..I just received some fantastic news....totally unrelated but brilliant news nonetheless. Just as I was typing this. Guess this is Allah’s way of telling me the future is not so grim after all

Alhamdulillah ’ala kuli 7al

InshaAllah kheyr

I see Changes!

2007-06-11T11:00:00.000+01:00

Changes……lately I have been surrounded by them. It seems every time I turn someone throws one at me. 2007 so far has been something.

I am having difficulty keeping up. It seems everything is moving around me while I stand stagnant …stuck in waist length mud which is keeping me motionless. I don’t even know how I feel about these changes…I haven’t allowed myself time to think about them. Why? Haven’t thought about that either.

I am always telling everyone that they should embrace change but I seem to be having some difficulty with that. It is easy to see what is right in other people’s situations but when it comes to me…I seem to store everything in the back of my mind where cobwebs seem to have grown because I hardly pay it a visit. Think outside the box…easier said than done.

Methinks it’s high time I knock on THAT door and have conversations with the Almighty; I don’t think my iman is where it should be right now.

Anyway…alhamdulillah ‘ala kuli hal

InshaAllah kheyr

The Makings of a Native Female

2007-05-25T22:11:00.000+01:00

Gallons of iman (the more the better….although the amount fluctuates now and again)
Liberal amounts of afrocentricism
Some humanity and dollops of compassion
A dose of empathy and teaspoon of sweet
At least a kilo of conversation and an ounce of assertiveness
A pinch of freak and a scatter of imperfection
A splash of attitude and a pound of tolerance
A litre of loyalty and integrity
A whole lot of love and humour

Blend together and then add a pack of assorted languages (English, Somali, Swahili and a smidgen of Arabic). Constantly add life experiences as you go along…….

Well WhiteAfrican.....this is my of who I am with a twist (a massive twist)
A detailed version of who I am would have been extensive.....you know me

Update: Inspiration from Angie Stone-Ingredients of Love

Getting fit....or something like it!

2007-05-08T16:53:00.000+01:00

Ok……..you know how I kept talking about getting fit. Well I finally took the plunge and started. Last night I did an hour of exercising……then this morning I left the house at 5:30am. I did 15minutes jogging and 15minutes brisk walking. I came back home and did half hour stretching then I had a shower and slept. I was so exhausted…..hell I am still a little tired. My body is killing me and I am planning on doing it again. I am crazy!

So…..will fill you in when I feel a lot better inshaAllah

Make dua that I don’t hurt my recovering foot.
InshaAllah Kheyr!

Female Psyche? Part II

2007-04-24T23:28:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the pause, but as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder
Here comes the providers section finally….our types of guys fall into this group. They are:

The Successful guy: Now this is the hotshot lawyer or doctor type of brother. He drives a hot car, lives in a nice house and takes women on expensive dinners. The one when a woman thinks could maintain or even upgrade her lifestyle. Most women want to marry this type of brother. This brother symbolises stability and brings the money. Brother successful provides the ‘security blanket’ that most women are looking for. These brothers are usually dominant in a relationship as they have worked hard to reach that level of success. This brother uses leadership skills in a relationship and also in parenting

Daddy: This is the brother that most similar to your dad. He is the one that tells a woman what to do and how to do it. Some women are attracted to controlling men who treat them like little girls. Usually this type is way older that the woman. This type usually attract the successful woman as she is used getting her way in social and work life, they are like a breath of fresh air in the woman world. Daddy types are usually into S&M and are prone to become stalkers

The Regular guy: Now let’s not forget this type of brother. A little bit of credit for the brother, he used to be adventurous in his younger days. Then he turned into a boring lawn mowing guy who watched a lot of T.V. These types usually wind up in long term relationships and start out being the ones in control. Then something happens and the tables are turned and they start seeing the woman in control, nagging them and telling them what to do. Women are attracted to the regular guy because he is loyal, down to earth and stable.

A** Kissing guy: Need I say more? This is the puppy, the one who follows a woman around and does everything she wants. This type is pushed around ad bullied. This is the type that most men look at and think sissy! Most women look at him and think…..poor guy! Women who are dominant and controlling are usually attracted to this guy as they have their way with them. Personally I think this type should grow an Adam’s apple.

Well there we go…..at last we have concluded my take on the female mind (well really its D’Angelo’s take and my words.)

I think the lover section is more interesting. I don’t know bout this but I think women fall for the lover type with their heart (or loins however you wanna look at it) and for the provider type with their head. Anyway…just a thought.

Till next time…..inshaAllah kheyr

Female Pyche?

2007-04-19T22:02:00.000+01:00

Ok something interesting. A friend of mine called and started talking to me about a paper she was doing on attraction. What type of guys attract women and vice versa.

Don't you think it is interesting that most of the articles written about what attracts women are always by men. It's funny...maybe its because they are able to observe us objectively. Whereas if a women did the research she will most likely be spending time researching the type that she is mostly attracted to. I don't know...anyway that is what i think anyway.

Apparently women are naturally attracted to 8 types of men, this mostly happens subconsciously. The 8 types fall into 2 groups, Lover and Provider.
I think I will talk about the lovers first :D No particular reason....
They are:

-The Bad boy (surprise surprise): Why are women attracted to this type? Danger and thrills! There is something addictive about the emotional rush of being around a man who can do absolutely anything! Its that whole adrenaline rush thing you get. Women are most magnetically attracted to this type…..its all about the adrenaline rush, instant buzz. This type is usually in control of the relationship.

-Adventurer: You can’t forget the fun and excitement that comes with adventure. Their appeal is pretty much the same as the bad boy’s the only difference is that the adventurer seeks thrills such as bungee jumping and sky diving instead of drugs and violence like the bad boy. These type usually have more than one woman on lock and women usually accept that from them. They are hugely optimistic which women love. They are in control of the relationship…cannot be tamed for most of the time

-Seducer (the ladies man): Now this brother understands women. With him it’s all about the lady. He is the one who goes out of his way to please his lady, constantly paying attention to her needs, the other brothers secretly want to be him. He sees the world through his own perspective (usually romantic) which makes women go crazy. This type is usually submissive in the relationship….he is busy tending to the needs of the lady. He tends to up and leave after getting what he wants in the relationship.

- The Artist: Now this type of brother has been knocking women off their feet since the beginning of time. He is the brother that stirs your emotions and is enigmatic and complex. The one who is always in a corner brooding, bending over a guitar or canvas. This brother is a challenge to the woman as he is usually introverted and emotionally sensitive. His complex soul begs for understanding and the woman thinks she can be the one to do this. This is the brother that sees the world on a whole different level. The type that sees a whole picture in a drop of paint or when he looks at a weathered piece of rock can link some sentimental story to it. This is brother is definitely not in control of the relationship as he isn’t even in control of his life. He is disorganised and completely unaware of time, usually with an unhealthy personality.

Credit to David D’Angelo who wrote a whole e-book on this. Which I paraphrased above.

Well this will be continued… I think anyway. Can’t promise anything. Till next time my people
InshaAllah kheyr!

Back by popular demand! :D

2007-04-16T15:32:00.000+01:00

After being threatened with a broken leg I decided to blog. I just got off my crutch so I wouldn’t want to risk a relapse! Whitey….this is for you!

Nothing much has been happening in my corner of the world. Life has been utterly mundane and boring. Nothing exciting seems to happen these days. I had a week off work doing absolutely nothing. Just waking up late and moping around the house, occasionally catching up on Grey’s Anatomy.

I did go to see a movie though. I watched 300. No story line in my opinion, just a bunch of guys fighting. However, I gotta point out the Spartan men. Talk about fit guys. That was the highlight of the movie for me. Talk about eye candy……that’s the only reason I watched the movie till the end. I know I was supposed to lower my gaze but I was a bit weak that day.

I did the entry examination to my course…..now I have to wait until they tally up the results and see if I made it to the shortlist. Hopefully come September I will be a student again….inshaAllah kheyr.

My biopsy results from my endoscopy came back. I have celiac disease. I have a gluten intolerance which causes my immune system to damage the villi in my small intestine restricting the absorption of nutrients to my body. Basically it is an autoimmune disorder which can only be controlled by a gluten free diet. I am relieved that I finally have an answer to my symptoms. I had unexplainable fatigue, anaemia and fractures; they were all due to the lack of nutrients in my body.

That’s what’s new in my world. Till next time…..inshaAllah kheyr! :)

My Whereabouts!

2007-03-16T21:02:00.000Z

Seems like I have been neglecting my corner of the cyber space lately. I have had a lot to update but I lacked the inspiration and creativity. I just wasn’t able to put my thoughts onto screen.

So what happened since the 8th of February? I’ll try and go chronologically to make things easier.

I celebrated my birthday. That’s right; I am now a year older and wiser (hopefully). It was beautiful, alhamdulillah.

Went to the twins 25th birthday (by the twins I mean flowerlady’s sisters). Since the dress code was no trousers or jeans I had to don a dress and flash a bit of leg. Yes, the self confessed tomboy actually had curves and was a ’girl’ for the night. I let my hair down (literally) and danced the night away. It was fun and all that dancing was therapeutic. All in all it was a well needed evening as it was a chance to catch up with everybody and just go crazy.

A few days following the party my mother called me from Africa (Kenya to be precise). She had some big news for us, my lil’ sister might be getting married sometime toward the end of the year. I was knocked for six! My lil’ sis might be getting married. She isn’t even 20 yet! Even though there is only a couple of years between us it was still hard to get used to the fact that she might be will be someone’s wifey soon. I guess it was bound to happen and is all part of what life is.
I spoke to my sis who seemed calm about the whole thing; she was taking it easy and giving herself time to get used to the idea. We talked about how we missed each other, especially on occasions such as this, when sisterly love and advice is necessary. But khadr Allah, I gave her a few words of wisdom as the older sister (wishful thinking on my part) and promised to make dua for her that Ar-Rahman guides her on the righteous path now and forever ameen.
When the news of my lil’ sister spread amongst my extended family you can guess what followed. Endless phone calls to my parents stating that my sister was too young to get married and that she has her whole life ahead of her. When my parents would not budge as they said the decision rested with my sister and they are only here for advice and support (my parents tend to be diplomatic that way sometimes alhamdulillah), in any case the final decision hasn’t been made yet so they should all back off (politely of course). The focus then turned to me; questions were raised about why I wasn’t getting married since I was the eldest daughter. I just replied by saying that Allah has not decreed for me to get hitched yet plus I kind of like my simple life right now. It will happen when it’s supposed to inshaAllah, till then I will just enjoy life. One aunt was cheeky enough to ask me if I was expecting the man to fall on my lap just like that to which I replied that it would be nice easy that way.
I don’t see the reasons why these people are interested in when or who I get married to. I am not even 25 yet and they keep telling me that time isn’t waiting for anyone. Alhamdulillah my parents are not that hung up on me getting married. They are waiting for it to happen when Allah wills it. Thank you Allah for blessing me with my parents.

On Saturday 24th February I was scheduled to go to the recent march against trident replacement that was held in London. Unfortunately I contracted food poisoning so I spent the weekend hurling while Whitey and Sahara participated in the march. Bummer!

On the Tuesday 27th Feb I was diagnosed with a fractured metatarsal on my right foot. How it happened is a mystery. On Sunday I slightly twisted my foot on the edge of the stairs and didn’t think much of it. It ached and a small bruise appeared but I didn’t think it was anything major. On Monday night as I was rummaging for something in my dresser one on my perfume bottles fell on the exact bruised sport of my foot. It was painful enough for me to curse but I had to hold back my tongue. I took a couple of painkiller as I had a headache and went to sleep. In the early hours of the morning, something like 4am I couldn’t sleep because my foot was aching too much. I didn’t want to wake anybody up because it was too early plus I still didn’t think it was anything major as my foot was only slightly swollen and bruised. So I went to work that morning praying that the pain will pass and it was just some small muscle ache. I was wrong as the clock ticked my pain increased to the point that I visited the A&E. I am not a big fan of hospitals and only go when I have no other choice. I had some x-rays done and was diagnosed with a fractured metatarsal (there was a crack on it, it wasn’t a thorough break), I was wrapped in a crepe bandage as opposed to the cast (thank God) and given crutches. I was ordered not to put any weight on my foot and no strenuous exercise for at least ten weeks. I looked at my crutches and I thought I don’t need them; I came all this way without them…..so I left my crutches at the hospital and went home. I was limping while putting some weight on my foot for 2days on the 3rd day I woke up with my foot very swollen and one bruised to the point that it was blue/green. I had to go back to the hospital and get back the crutches. Guess I learnt my lesson. Now my leg isn’t swollen or bruised anymore but I will have to use the crutches for a while longer. So now I am a limping hijabi with crutches, it has its advantages…for one everybody is a lot nicer to you. One thing I hate about it is depending on others for most things. I am not used to asking someone to do things for me so that has been difficult. However I am feeling a lot better now alhamdulillah and the experience has made me appreciate my health a lot more so it was a blessing in disguise.

Yesterday, on the 15th of March I had my endoscopy. The last appointment I blogged about was a consultation regarding the endoscopy….a risk assessment had to be done. I got slightly confused and thought that I was having the actual scope done. Anyway, I had it done yesterday without anaesthetic. I am such a wimp when it comes to foreign things being inserted into me so I was ready to have the anaesthetic in order to make the experience slightly less unpleasant. However since I was on a crutch and I had a recently fractured I was in danger of hurting myself even more as the anaesthetic would make me unsteady and the effects could last between 2-24 hours. So I had to choose between 15minutes of the procedure (which felt like hours) or a caste and more weeks on the crutch being dependant. I gotta say I surprised myself as I chose to go ahead without the anaesthetic and with the aid of a spray they used to numb my throat. It was hell as the initial reflex reaction is for your oesophagus to tense up around the tube and for you to hurl. They took a biopsy sample as my duodenum was slightly swollen. InshaAllah I shall be receiving my results in the next ten days. Alhamdulillah I am ok, apart from a sore throat (I wasn’t able to swallow properly yesterday because of the pain) everything is fine.

So there we have it, the major things that happened to me in the past month. I just realized how long this post is so apologies…..

Till next time, inshaAllah kheyr

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEMO!

2007-03-13T16:37:00.000Z

Nothing says I love you like an original piece writing dedicated to you!

Happy Birthday sista-friend
Although I haven’t known you for ages
I feel blessed to be able to send this greeting
Perhaps because when the going got tough
You always managed to make me crack a smile
So here is my two pence worth of advice
Celebrate your specialness for awhile

Our NM has turned 23, here's us wishing you a joyous year!

We pray that Allah keeps you in our company for many more years to come. May he forgive your sins and replace them with lofty deeds. May Allah always love you and keep you in his mercy. May you be one of the guided ones who strives in the path of Allah always. May you be raised as the pious on the day of reckoning, and may Allah make it possible for all of us to meet in the gardens of Jannah……ameen thuma ameen.

We love you Naima!

Back in blogland!!

2007-02-08T17:56:00.000Z

Its been a while since I posted...nearly a month now. There hasn't been much happening in my life, hence the hiatus. Its been pretty mundane and since I have been in no mood for spontaneity....its just been the same routine for the past few weeks.

Been trying to enjoy the winter (if there is such a thing in a hot blooded African Nomad's world). I have decided to not watch or read the news for the past 2weeks so I am 'blissfully' clueless or at least I thought I was but I have been suffering from 'withdrawal symptoms so I had to read some news today. Depressing as always!

I haven't done much since my last post, apart from a couple of going dinner parties (Nemo's and Sara S').

Today at work the most handsome brother I have seen in a long while entered my office. He was dressed in this black qamees (or thowb or dress...whatever you call it) that was ankle length (so no isbaal), he had shoulder length black curly hair and best bit......his face was radiating this nur that just warmed my heart. I had to force myself to lower my gaze. When he uttered the words "Asalamu alaykum sister". I had to quickly gather my thoughts and clear my throat before I replied with a rushed "Wa alaykum salam brother". I didn't think I will ever utter these words but 'native female has fallen inlust with an arab brother' who by the way seems to be taken since he was accompanied by a beautiful sister (bless her lucky soul). Life can sometimes be a bummer but alhamdulillah.

I wanted to post a video of my fav hippo dancing to a Kenyan song (a recent one by the Logombas if your are familiar with Kenyan music). Youtube been playing hard to get toy so I couldn't....instead I will post the link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=kWZQSuzxt4M
It is one funny video.....and the hippo sure can shake looool

As you can see nothing much has been happening in the world of the native one. Before I forget...I have an endoscopy tomorrow so could you all make dua that it goes well inshaAllah. Jazakumullahu kheyran in advance!

Much luv and peace x

Emergency

2007-01-18T22:06:00.000Z

People.....my laptop has suffered major trauma. Please make dua. Time is critical.....right now it is in intensive care. I don't wanna lose my journals and my work. Guess I should have made a backup. Kheyr inshaAllah!

Something

2007-01-07T15:49:00.000Z

“Defeat is the soil upon which victory blooms”

Taken from an episode of something that I happened to bump across this afternoon while I was channel surfing. This was the only thing that stuck.....not even the name of the show......anyway I liked the quote. Explains a lot to me.....

2007-01-04T21:05:00.000Z

So 2006 is over………the year has been something! Internationally, nationally, locally and of course personally. So much has happened…..a lot has been lost and plenty gained!

The war in Iraq, Afghanistan and Palestine continued as always but they were joined by the war in Lebanon and the more recent one in Somalia. Bloodshed, bloodshed, bloodshed……the plight of the 21st century.

Famine crisis in Niger and drought followed by heavy flooding affected countries in East Africa. There have also recently been floods in Aceh in Indonesia.

Hammas was boycotted by the west and a unanimous vote to sanction Iran was cast. The limits of free speech were challenged when cartoons depicting our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) in a disrespectful manner were published by Danish Newspaper, Jyllands-Posten.

Senior members of the BNP parties were released without charge after being taped delivering an Islam phobic speech which encouraged violence against Muslims. The niqab (veil) was challenged after comments by Jack Straw. Sadaam Hussein was hanged after being charged with killing 160 people.

Pretty depressing year…but now to the positive points. Yes there is some positive stuff that happened this year…you wouldn’t think so after all that.

Palestinians democratically voted for their new president. Aceh citizens in Indonesia have been given the right to govern themselves under Islamic Law. Thailand’s new government has recognised Thailand’s Muslim minority. Mohammed Yunus, a Bangladeshi banker was awarded the Nobel peace prize. Keith Ellison was elected to become the first Muslim congressman in the US House.

These are just a few of the stories of 2006….they were the ones that left a mark on me or rather they are the ones that I remembered.

Now to me…………

I have personally grown….and I don’t mean physically (I’ve been the same size for the past 2yrs). Emotionally and mentally I have expanded….although there were some slight regressions, everything has been trudging on steadily and sometimes not so steadily.

At the beginning of the year (on my birthday, February 12th) I lost my uncle (one of my dad’s little brothers) to cancer. He was suffering from the cancer of the lymph nodes which according to the doctors had a 98% recovery rate. He was diagnosed on August 2005 after suddenly collapsing on the street 2mnths before that. It was a difficult six months for the whole family while he was in hospital. He went through chemotherapy and lost all his hair (except his eyebrows…..most people lose all their hair but he still had his eyebrows) after that he had radiotherapy, but he stopped that because it was making him sick and weak plus he couldn’t eat. At this point he had made piece with the fact that he will soon meet his maker. He started asking forgiveness from everyone (this was a heartbreaker). The month before he passed away he flew back home (Kenya) looking a lot better than he did. He was able to see his home country and his family before finally taking his last breath. He was my favourite paternal uncle…maybe because he was the one that kept in touch with me the most (he made it a habit to call me every Saturday afternoon to enquire about life in general….his calls have been dearly missed), or maybe because he had a frank and open way of conversing with me, or maybe because he used to shake me on his knee as a child (with me pretending to be on a horse). All I know is I loved him and I pray that Allah forgives his sins grants him Jannatul Fardows. May Allah protect him from the punishment of the grave and have mercy on his soul….ameen

I took a gap year from uni. The first time in my life out of school (still feels weird and I really miss being a student)

I witnessed a real birth and was blessed with a cute and handsome nephew. MashaAllah.

My other nephew Husni aka the Michelin man (as nicknamed by MD) turned one. He is the cutest kid ever mashaAllah. To top it all of he hates crying and likes to play quietly….I mean how much better can you get? MashaAllah…..may Allah bless him.

Had a beautiful Ramadan with family and friends mashaAllah. Hope for many more to come inshaAllah

White African and her family went to Hajj. May Allah accept their Hajj and forgive them their sins. May He return all the pilgrims to their homes safe and sound inshaAllah…..ameen

I underwent some crazy emotional rollercoaster which made me see things in a different light (in fact the emotional rollercoaster is still happening)

Overall the year was one of mixed emotions. One thing I can definitely say is I learnt a lot alhamdulillah. And I am looking forward to learning some more life lessons in 2007.

I mean....what’s life without a lil’ roughness now and again to remind us of our blessing?

I leave with a picture of Husni looking 'smoking' in shades loool….mashaAllah.

'EID MUBARAK SISTAS AND BROTHAS IN ISLAM!!

2006-12-30T17:33:00.000Z

Asalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu

I know it’s late but what the hey!

Eid Mubarak ya Jami’un Muslimeena wal Muslimati!!!
Yea….I’m trying my Arabic out. I hope that was correct!

Ya Allah grant us your mercy in this world and in the hereafter
Ya Allah strengthen our iman and increase our understanding
Ya Allah make the Muslims as one and increase us in our love for each other
Ya Allah make us of the ones who enjoin good and forbid the evil……ameen ya Rabbil 'alameen!

And for my brothers and sisters across the world who are facing difficulties and hardships. May Allah grant you ease in your affairs. May you remain patient in these hard times and may your iman be strengthened. May you remain steadfast in your 'ibaadah…….ameen ya Rabbil 'alameen!

Ya Allah forgive the sins of my parents and my grandparents, of the Mu’mineenah and Mu’minat and Muslimeenah and Muslimat. Ya Allah grant mercy to those that you have died and protect them from the punishment of the grave for You are the most Merciful, Ar-Rahmanu Raheem. Ameen thuma ameen!

May Allah accept the Hajj of the millions of Muslims in Makkah al Mukaramah. May Allah grant us the ability to perform this blessed pilgrimage atleast once in our lifetime...ameen

Kulu 'amuun wa antum bil kheyr!

Ring the alarm…the situation is lacking Islam.

2006-12-24T15:31:00.000Z

I take a deep breath and stare into the horizon. The grey sky is above me and the soles of my feet rest on the cold concrete below. Thoughts fill my mind like the psychedelic colours of the seventies. Whirling round and round on a wheel of fortune and I hold my breath waiting for the it to stop. Where would it stop……what would fate hand us this time?

Ethiopia has started air raids on Somalia. Yea….more poor people are losing their lives. A civil war that has been going on for 16years. Now though it is called Jihad. The interim government and the UIC are now the centre of attention. One wants to rule by Islam and the other wants to rule. Ok…I might be coming out in favour of the UIC but they have made the most visible changes in the region. The streets are cleaner, khad is banned and they are trying to abolish tribalism. The Somalis in Somalia for once actually looked happy and content. The place was starting to look a country and less like an abandoned land. People were migrating back…..
I know there is a fear that the UIC might turn into the next Taliban. Banning anything and everything….but I don’t think they will turn into the Taliban. I think most of the bad press that has been surrounding them has been propaganda. I don’t mean that all they do is justified. They are some people with twisted morals flying under the banner of Islam. You can’t expect everyone to be perfect and on the moral high horse. There will always be the good, the bad and the ugly.
The fear is that this war is gonna become a full out war that affects the neighbouring countries to Somalia. Ethiopia is already involved and because of the political tension that’s rife in all of East Africa…..other countries in the region might get involved. This might turn into a Muslim vs. other war. It was a stupid move to have Ethiopia involved in this. Somalis are sensitive where Ethiopia is concerned…..they are a sore wound where Somalia is concerned. Having them support the interim government means rubbing salt on the wound causing most to turn against the government. The problems should have been sorted without outside influence. If a mediator was necessary then a less controversial figure (not Ethiopia) should have been appointed.

The African union has been trying to sort the political situation in Sudan. The UN wants to get involved; the West wants to interfere once again to sort out the problem of the people of the East. After all we are not civilised to sort out our own problems. Problems caused by the borders created by the ‘civilised world’ and maintained by the leaders of the ’uncivilised’

The thorn in every Muslim's heart......al-Ard-al-Muqaddasah. Olmert has approved 100million for Palestine…..makes you wonder why the sudden generosity. I mean the Hammas leader was refused entry to his country just a few days ago because he was carrying money for his country. By the way he was a leader who has been democratically elected. But democracy only works when it is approved by Israel and the West, because the rest of the world is lacking the ‘skills’ in making such important decisions. So, back to giving the money to Abbas….they are trying to turn Hammas and Fatah against each other.

Lebanon has protesting to have Senora step down. They have had enough….they don’t need someone who just bum licks to the west. A Labrador aint fit as a leader. They have woken up and smelt the manure….their nasal tracts are opening up and the smell is foul. Something needs to be done.

Then there is the unanimous UN vote that sanctions should be imposed on Iran. Of course because they are thinking with their own mind and they want to enjoy the luxury of feeling secure. But what were they thinking? This is a privilege that only Israel can enjoy in this region because the rest are unable to make civilised decision.
In Iraq it’s the same story of Sunni and Sh’ia fighting. One thing they do have in common is that they don’t want outside influence. The occupation must pack up and leave…..

What do all these countries share? They have been turned against each other by the ones who have vested interests. The case of Somalia, Iraq and Sudan it is the ever volatile oil. And in Iran, Palestine and Lebanon it is the national security of Israel that is at risk. Muslims cannot be defeated from outside; the only way to break them is from the inside and this is happening. Our iman is low and aqeedah practically non-existent because of the many outside influences. We are loosing it people and we are loosing it bad. These problems are self made…it is because we weakened our foundation and barriers that the cracks are turning into breaks. The building might topple if we are not careful. And then what?

The solution is simple the implementation is the problem. We need to work on our aqeedah as an ummah. We need to strengthen ourselves….only then can we fight the enemy. And only then can we envision victory.
InshaAllah kheyr!

Pointless Surveys

2006-12-15T20:23:00.000Z

Begs the question as to why I am doing this if it so pointless.....coz I am liking the feeling of pointless....jeez....can't a sista catch a break *kisses teeth*

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing? Not single…that would imply I’m looking…we can’t have that

2)Are you happy with who you are? Yep, alhamdulillah

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast? Nah…I trip and get up fast to brush myself off

4) Have you ever had your heart broken? Not literally….that’s why I can still type this :D

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok? Hell nah…not ok

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? Plenty of flesh on the streets brotha

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person? When you are girl who ‘has come of age’ like myself….it creeps up without choice…

8) Do you want children? Hell yea….but I don’t know how I’d manage that without the hubby (at least in a halal way…)

9) How many? As many as Allah blesses me with….

10) Would you consider adoption? Of course….but I would like some of my own, so I can point and laugh and say "ha-ha! You got my short fingers!”

11) What do you think is a cool way for your special someone to let you know they care? Romanticisms....eeww….dnt make me puke...

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get? Well I leave plenty 2 the imagination by covering up from head to toe…and I lower my gaze….is that hard enough?

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating? The “game”....now if I knew what that was I would be implying I date....we don't wanna do that...

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists? Pheromones at first sniff...now that I believe!

15) What is one thing you wish you knew about the opposite sex? Ummm, nothing in particular.....really

16) Do you believe that you can change someone? Relationship orientated questions….why must everything be about relationships?

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object? Outdoors on a beach off the East African coast......with all my family and friends making dua for me outside under the blue African sky......

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now? No! Praise Allah

.19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't? Oh yeah, did that...he was in my head….too perfect....couldn't possibly be a reality....

20) Have you ever broken a heart? Probably…with my blessings…who knows ;)?

21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other? Nah….they can have them

22) Last person you hugged? My maternal aunt, that I call mom and also live with

23) Last person to call you? My brother

24) When was the last time you felt stupid? Now.

25) Who was the last person you danced with? Myself...as I was entering my room!

26) Who did you last yell at? I don't yell at people….I talk diplomatically…or punch walls.

2006 COMING TO AN END HAVE YOU:
1. Have you had any relationships this year? Nah....what you take me for?

2. Have you had your birthday yet? Yea…

3. Cried yet? Yea….I cry when I’m happy, sad, overwhelmed…..and all of that has happened this year

4. Been on a diet? A what?

5. Pulled an all nighter? Fo’ sho’

6. Drank Starbucks? Couple of times…..mostly drank Nero…

7. Went Camping? Mmm.….nah

l8. Bought something? My lunch 2day

9. Met someone special? Now special refers to many things….which one do you mean exactly?

10. Been out of state? We don’t have states in England but I did leave the Northwest to go to the South…..oh yea…I went to Africa…

11. Gone snowboarding? Not in England……or Africa...

12. What are you thinking about? I need to have a hot shower....

13. Hugged someone? This year? I think I broke a record….

14. slept in someone else’s bed? I‘m assuming the bed I slept in while in away from home was someone else’s...

15. Any alcohol? Astaghfurullah……nah man

16. Loaned out money? Loan? Dnt knw...memory of a fish…can’t keep up....

17. Gotten in a car accident? Alhamdulillah, no.…..not fond of them…

18. Gone over your cell phone bill? If I was on rental…probably…that’s why I’m avoiding it actually….

19. Been called a whore? I think I've avoided that my whole life……

20. Done something you regret? Every day, baby…everyday…..

TEN FACTS
01. Hometown? Born in Nairobi, Kenya

02. Natural hair colour? Red/brown…..I’m not sure

03. Initials? F

04. Hair style? Hijab….

05. Eye colour? Very dark brown…practically black…

06. Height: 5'5"…that said….I’m 2centimetres of 5’6”

07. Pets: Zilch…and that's not the name of my pet

08. Mood: Giggly/jokey/a lil’ contemplative…

09. Where would you rather be? Many places at once…..

10. Last thing you drank? Water

ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:
01. Have you ever been in love? Define in love….

02. Do you believe in love? Love for the sake of Allah (SW)?…sure…

03. Have you ever been heartbroken: Didn’t we cover that already?

04. Have you ever broken someone's heart: Come on, now…..I have a bad memory...but not that bad.....

05. Have you ever fallen for your best friend? Now if I did….I‘ll have to come out of the closet…..since there is no closet, then it would be safe to assume that I haven’t

06. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? All the time....I try 2 keep it halal…u feel me…

07. Are you afraid of commitment? Are you afraid of yo mamma?

08. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships in your life? Refer to the question above.

09. Are you missing someone right now? I’m always missing someone as I live away from home….

10. Are you eating anything? I love the way this comes under love life……..yea…a banana….lol, am kidding…nothing actually….was though…biscuits…

I tag whoever can spare the time 2 do this.....

My Father

2006-12-05T16:03:00.000Z

A fatherhood celebration being held on the 15th of December is causing me to reminisce. It has made me realise that this is one of the things we are lacking (especially in our community). We seem to devote lot of time appreciating our mothers (and quite rightly so), but in rushing to praise our mothers we tend to neglect our fathers.

As a daughter I tend to empathise more with my mother because I have seen the physical and emotional pain that a mother goes through for her children. My mama carried me and my siblings for 9mnths and has taught me a lot of life skills.

My father did not carry me for 9mnths (if he did he would probably be named as one of the wonders of the world....lool) but I can assure you that he went through his own mental and physical hurdle with our births (I witnessed this when my baby brother was born). As a child in kindergarten my baba was this kind man who always found the time to answer my many questions (and there were many questions....believe me!) and indulge my imagination. As my mother taught me the practical things in life my baba was grooming me mentally. At the age of three I remember him giving me kids section of the Sunday Nation (a news paper in Kenya) as he read up on the current affairs in the world.....I would be sitting next to him, imitating his pose and reading up on the current of affairs of what was then my world (the adventures of Tin Tin and Denis the Menace.....I was an early developer). I remember when he used to correct my mispronunciations of words such as nation which I would read natyon.....loool. One of my fondest memories is my baba buying me my first novel at the age of seven (David Copperfield by Dickens....published by Penguin) which I read with his help and a dictionary.

As I reached the ages of 8 to 11, my father employed other ways of teaching me about the world. Since I was the eldest my father decided to teach me about responsibility, tolerance and patience. At the time I wasn’t fond of his methods as I believed they interfered with whatever life I had. I was to do chores (even though we had a maid), I had to look after my sibling whenever we went out without my parents (I used think it was a curse being the oldest......my mentality was why me?) and I was also to lead by example (this was just too exhausting as I had to think twice about everything I did......how would my sibling perceive it?). I started resenting my father for this no nonsense tough approach..........I just started thinking that he didn’t understand me :(

During my teenage years I lived away from home (which was kinda tough) but I have to say that these years have made me who I am. This was the perfect medium for me to put into practice all that I had learnt from my father and mother. As I grew I hated the fact that I had lost the childhood bond that I had with my father ( I remember the days when I used to curl next to him in the morning before work and just talk.....he always listened to me attentively even though I was two or three and probably talking nonsense). In the last ten years I have come to appreciate my father a lot more. I have come to realise (alhamdulillah) that even though at times I thought that he was singling me out, he was only after my best interest. Those that love you are the ones that tell you about your faults......this is so true. A few years ago when I went back home (first time in seven years) I remember watching television with my little sister when an advert came on. It showed this little three year old that dropped one of her wooden toys in a miniature water hole (I think). The girl wanted to get her toy back but the hole was too deep, so she walks away (at this point you think she has given up) but she comes back with a container filled with stones which she drops one by one in the hole. Soon the water rises and she gets her toys :) As we are watching this my sister turns to me and says "every time abo sees this video he says that she reminds him of you". I was grinning like there was no tomorrow :D in fact I grin every time I remember this......

My baba has taught me a lot about kindness, tolerance, patience, self control......He has always remained calm through any adversity (it is a rare sight to see my father without a hair in place whatever the circumstance). He has taught me to keep my trust in a Higher power. When I realised this I wrote him a letter of appreciation. Boy was it an essay......all ten pages of it. It was time my father knew how I felt about him and how much he means to me. After receiving this letter he called me and we had the longest phone conversation in the history of my father....loool, it was pleasant. I have realised that my father loved me from the moment he felt me move inside my mama..........this is a feeling that I can’t put into words....

Now as an adult, my father is my advisor and confidante. He is my best friend......the one that never fails to calm me down. Although he hasn't lost that look of authority that intimidates everyone (including me)......I have just learnt to interpret that look as wisdom (it is all about perception at the end of the day...). In my family my mother is the fiery one while my father is like the rain on a hot summer day.....cool and refreshing :)

I thank Allah for giving me the opportunity to know such a great man and for granting me the ability to show my appreciation......alhamdulillahI pray that Allah rewards my parent for all the hard work they have done on our behalf. I pray that Allah keeps them with us for many years to come and grants them Janatul Firdows.

Thank you Paradise for reminding me of what a great man my father is......jazakillah kheyran

2006-11-25T20:49:00.000Z

Ok…..I have procrastinated enough….it’s time I answered Dreamer's tag. So I have to name 6 weird things about me……….here goes.

Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”. People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names (Sunshine).

1. I talk in four different accents (a Somali, Kenyan, English and American accent) , sometimes find it difficult to understand what I say because I also mumble while speaking. From time to time one accent inhibits my body and I would end up using that accent for a while……..

2. I can’t walk around barefooted in the house……I get this weird feeling on the soles of my feet if I walk around without slippers. I don’t feel comfortable wearing normal shoes in the house so they have to be slippers that I wear…..and by slippers I mean ‘dacas’ (or thick socks……but that’s a last resort). My mama says that I was like ever since I was a toddler (whenever my mama would want me to sit somewhere still she would just take my shoes…..which guarantees that I wouldn’t move from my spot).

3. I like my room to stay the same (organised chaos)……after I clean my room I don’t feel comfortable unless there is a little bit of untidiness. I like this way because I can think clearly (as my mind tells me that my room is homely), for some reason…..I find things easier among the organised chaos than when everything is neat.

4. I have a knack for knowing when something is on my mama’s mind (I’m sure you are now saying, so does every other child) but here is the weird thing , my mama and I live on 2 different continents….an ocean and thousands of miles separates us. Still, I always get this unsettling feeling and a need to call home, when I hear mama’s voice the first I ask her is “is everything ok maa?”. It’s a connection we have had since I can remember…….

5. I don’t how to use a spoon when eating rice or thick desserts, I use a fork instead (however when having cereal I can comfortably use a spoon). When am at home I can only use a fork with a plastic end……a fork with a metal end makes me feel as though something is crawling inside my palm.

6. Which brings me to number six, I go through these phases where the oddest things make me feel as if I want to be physically sick or get goose bumps . For example, I went through a phase where when I used a blue biro pen I felt physically sick……….

Hope the ride wasn't too bumpy :)

I tag:

NM
White African
MD
Newbie
Muslimah
Weary Nomad

Although.....whether the tagged would reply is something else.....inshaAllah kheyr!

Its a love thang!

2006-11-20T22:16:00.000Z

Common feat Mary J. Blige - Come Close

[Intro][Common:]
It's just a fly love song, what

[Mary J:]
Mmmmm

[Common:]
It's just a fly love song, what

[Verse: Common]
Are we living in a dream world?
Are your eyes still green girl?
I know your sick and tired of arguing
But you can't keep it bottled in
Jealousy, we got to swallow it
Your heart and mind baby follow it
Smile, happiness you could model it
And when you feel opposite
I just want you to know
Your whole being is beautiful
Im going to do the best I can do
Cause i'm the best when i'm with you

[Chorus: Mary J. Blige]
Come close to me baby
Let your love hold you
I know this world is crazy
What's it without you

[Verse: Common]
Put down your bags love
I know in the past love
Has been sort of hard on you
But I see the God in you
I just want to nurture it
Though this love may hurt a bit
We dealing wit this water love
You even give my daughter love
I want to build a tribe wit you
Protect and provide for you
Truth is I can't hide from you
The pimp in me
May have to die with you

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
I know what you're thinking,
you're on my mind
You're right, you're right, you're right
You promise so fast you just might take flight
Hope your not tired, tonight, tonight

[Verse: Common]
You help me to discover me
I just want you to put trust in me
I kind of laugh when you cuss at me
The aftermath is you touching me
It's destiny tthat we connected girl
You and I we can affect the world
I'm tired of the fast lane
I want you to have my last name

[Chorus]

[Bridge (2x)]

I really like this song. it's a beautiful love song and the video is so simple (which is the beauty of it). Common is one of my fav artists. there are some classic tracks of his I was going to post but I went with this instead......I just felt like a feel good song (and this always does the trick).
Hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did and do.......

Aaarrrggghhhh!

2006-11-16T22:19:00.000Z

Ok……I have to keep it real. I miss being fit. I miss being able to touch my toes effortlessly. I miss being able run a couple of miles without panting. Bottom line…..I miss dancing.

I’m scientist ( u knw those supposedly calculation dependant individuals I kwn I don't talk like one...) but I have this arty side that not many people knw about. It’s like I am leading a double life….my straight a** boring science life and this other side which wants to leap, bust some crank moves and do the split. Yea…I’m talking about dancing. It has been a passion of mine since I was in diapers (even my momma would tell u dat). I used to shake my diaper clad a** to the latest tune since the beginning of me. Then when Bobby Brown and Mc Hammer came out with the running man in the early 90’s I was right in there doin my thang. I love to dance, dancing brings out the best in me. I aint talking about dance on a professional level, but just dancing for fun, you knw. Being able to just move and go with the flow. Being able to have people who share the same passion. Being able to……..just dance!

I been searching for dance classes all up in this here city. I haven’t found any female only classes. Not that I mind having handsome guys with fit bodies lifting me up but…..being a Muslimah I gotta make sacrifices and abstain from such worldly desires ….. You feel me!

However, first things first. Before I start leaping without perfecting my walk. First on the agenda is joining a gym (if not…then employing an exercise regime which gives the same benefit without the gym pass) and sorting out my anaemia. Because however physically fit I get…I would always be out of breath if my blood count aint close to normal (out of everything…bringing my blood count back to normal would be my most difficult task). I will still keep searching for an all female dance class and until I find one I would be practicing some moves….maybe get a video so I can get my old moves back. It’s been close to 4yrs since I seriously performed a piece….so you can imagine how rusty I am. I basically need to start from scratch and that aint gonna be easy but inshaAllah kheyr.

So this is what is going to be on my agenda for a while. I’m kinda excited so hopefully this is not some short lived thing. I knw most people would be like girl what you doin dancing? This would probably come from my Somali/Muslim community. But check it here…I aint dancing for no man. I be doin this for myself. Something to keep me physically fit…. But hey…..I gotta do what I gotta do! To hell with everybody else.

Peace

2006-11-12T20:11:00.000Z

The Roots ft. Erykah Badu - You Got Me

The lyrics

[Chorus] x 2

(Erykah Badu)
If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me

[Verse 1]

(Black Thought)
Somebody told me that this planet was small
we use to live in the same building on the same floor
and never met before
until I'm overseas on tour
and peep this ethiopian queen from philly
taking classes abroad
she studying film and photo flash focus record
said she workin on a flick and
could my click do the score
she said she loved my show in paris
at elise momarre
and that I stepped off the stage
and took a piece of her heart
we knew from the start that
things fall apart, intentions shatter
she like that shit don't matter
when I get home get at her
through letter, phone, whatever
let's link, let's get together
shit you think not, think the Thought went home and forgot
time passed, we back in philly now she up in my spa
tellin me the things I'm tellin her is makin her hot
startin buildin with her constantly round the clock
now she in my world like hip-hop
and keep tellin me

[Chorus] x2

[Verse 2]

(Black Thought)
Yo, I'm the type that's always catchin a flight
and sometimes I gotta be out at the height of the night
and that's when she flip and get on some 'ol

(Eve)
Another lonely night
seems like I'm on the side you only loving your mic
I know you gotta get that paper daddy keep that shit tight
but yo I need some sort of love in my life, you dig me
while politicin with my sister from new york city
she said she know this ball player and he think I'm pretty
sike, I'm playin boo, you know it's just wit you I'm stayin boo
and when cats be poppin game I don't hear what they sayin boo
when you out there in the world, I'm still your girl
with all my classes I don't have the time for life's thrills
so when you sweatin on stage think of me when you rhyme
and don't be listenin to your homies they be leavin you blind

(Black Thought)
Yeah, so what you sayin I can trust you?

(Eve)
Is you crazy, you my king for real

(Both)
But sometimes relationships get ill

(Eve)
No doubt

[Chorus] x2

[Verse 3]

(Black Thought)
Thet snake could be that chick
and that rat could be that cool cat
that's whispering "she tryin to play you for the fool Black"
if something's on your chest then let it be known
see I'm not your every five minutes all on the phone
and on the topic of trust, it's just a matter of fact
that people bite back and fracture what's intact
and they'll forever be I ain't on some "oh I'm a celebrity"
I deal with the real so if it's artificial let it be
I've seen people caught in love like whirlwinds
listening to they squads and listening to girlfriends
that's exactly the point where they whole world ends
lies come in, that's where that drama begins, she like

[Chorus] until fade

Just thought I'd share this song from tow of my fav artists. hope you enjoy!

By the way you guys...I'm ok alahmdulillah. The only thing that is wrong with me so far is the fact that I am very anaemic. But this is somehing that is curable alahmdulillah. Thanks alo and jazakumullahu kheyran for the dua everyone.

Health concerns......

2006-11-06T03:05:00.000Z

Winter has come back with a vengeance. The price we pay for having the kind of summer that we did. It’s freezing. Although I was eagerly awaiting winter (hot seasons aren’t my favourites as I can’t take the heat contradictory because I’m African….oh well) I have to say so far it hasn’t been productive. Mainly because I cant breathe because the cold inflames my nasal canal and because of these persistent headaches I have been having.

I went to see my physician on Tuesday and discussed my headaches with her. She asked me if I have been under some stress recently or if I’m drinking enough water and if I wear my spectacles as is should. My answer was simple…I am not under any extra stress apart from day to day grind and I am also drinking at least two litres of water a day. The only other thing is I don’t wear my specs as often but that has never been a problem.
My physician was actually very concerned about my headaches and ordered for me to have a blood test which would test for my fasting glucose level, a full blood count, thyroid, blood sodium levels and cholesterol level.

Friday I had my blood test and I will get my results on Wednesday. It takes ten to fourteen days to get the results usually but I have been given priority. I also I have to book an appointment with my optician to rule out the likelihood of strain caused from my bad eyesight. Till then I don’t have much to do except swallow painkillers. I have to take this migraine pill and standard painkillers all at the same time (to say that I’m not worried would be an understatement but I’m taking it in my stride…I just pray that whatever it is that is wrong with me Allah grants me the patience to deal with it). My main concern is getting addicted to the painkillers because between Tuesday evening and Friday morning I have finished a 16pack coupled with half a strip of migraine pills (and I’m not the type of person fond of taking medicine be it pill or a syrup).

So yeah, I am walking around in a zombie state and why I’m I going to work? I need some normalcy in my life and if I stay at home I focus more on the pain. Plus the people at work are currently taking it easy on me…bless them. But inshaAllah kheyr…whatever it is Ar-Rahman would get me through it inshaAllah. Bi’ithnillah.
Come Wednesday I will find out what is wrong inshaAllah. Till then keep me in your dua.

For my African Sistaz

2006-10-29T23:19:00.000Z

2 Face Idibia African Queen

By the way you guys....I love this song. It just appeals to my afrocentric side...

EID MUBARAK

2006-10-23T23:25:00.000+01:00

I truly pray that each and every one of you had a blessed Eid. And that you enjoyed yourselves immensely. I pray that Allah (SW) enables us all to witness many more Ramadans, enables us to keep up all the good habits that we have picked up. I also pray that we are able to continue with the spirit of Ramadan throughout the year…….ameen ya Rabbil ‘alameen.

Already I seem to be missing Ramadan, it was a magical moment. It was a special Ramadan because I had my family with me (as opposed to last year’s which I spent alone). I had a lot of Iftars having home cooked meals as opposed to takeaway. I spent a lot of time with the family and was able to strengthen our ties. The best part was praying Fajr every morning together as a family and the long dua’s my uncle would make after Maghrib prayers. I miss having family meals nearly everyday of the week ( for some reason we make extra effort to make it home for our meals during Ramadan). Another great thing was that I spent some time with my friends and got to know them all a lot better, I feel as though we bonded on a level this Ramadan which might not have been possible if it was any other month. For real, this Ramadan was a month to cherish and truly look back on in the future with fond memories.

The night before Eid hardly anybody slept in the house. Courtesy of having families on different time zones. I stayed up until 5am and then had to promptly wake up at 6am for Fajr paryers. After this we didn’t sleep because we had to get ready if we were going to make it to the 8:30am Eid prayer at Didsbury mosque. Left home at 7:45am and all bundled into the car. The sky was gray and the birds were chirping. It looked peaceful and calm. We did the takbir al Eid inside the car on our way to the mosque. It was just beautiful. We got to the mosque 15mins later. The place wasn’t very crowded and we could hear the men saying the takbir. MashaAllah…..it was beautiful. Everyone at the mosque was dressed beautifully and the kids were overexcited. You could just feel the positive vibe emanating from the room. It was a time when the concept of Islamic brother/sisterhood could be best observed and universality of Islam was exhibited. It was wonderful. The khutba was an emotional one. People were in tears. A reminder that made us appreciate the mercy Allah has bestowed upon us

We got home and had our breakfast as a family (another thing that doesn’t usually happen because we all have different schedules). Called Africa and spoke to the family….that was great! After this the children in the neighbourhood started their rounds (it happens most Eids…they knock on the door and wish us Eid Mubarak…..and then one of us distributes sweets to them. Kinda like treat or tricking but without the fancy costumes and the tricks). I enjoyed handing the sweets to the children….it was nice getting to chat to them and finding out their names.

After this we got a special package all the way from Canada. It contained a cousins wedding video (among other things) so that was nice. A few guest came and we had the usual Eid wishes and chitchats.

Later on around 5pm I went to see NM because I promised I’ll pop in. I went with my slippers (even though hoyo and uncle insisted I wear my sneakers because I won’t be coming back anytime soon). My intention was literary to pop in and out, just spend enough time to wish every one at the house Eid Mubarak. As it turned out hoyo and uncle were right…..I left NM’s house at 9:30pm. However , it was nice seeing all the girls….most of them were there and we had a chilled out get together.

When I got home I just took some painkiller and went to bed. I haven’t been feeling too good lately and this past week I have been having headaches coupled with a feeling of nausea. I made an appointment to test my bloods as I think my blood count is low. I need to test my blood sugar as well as I have some suspicions about that (but I’m too scared to go do that because I don’t want to find out……. )

But inshaAllah kheyr. There is nothing too big wrong with me……it can all be resolved ( and inshaAllah it will be resolved).

All in all…….Eid was wonderful!
May Allah enable us to witness many more…………….ameen.

Kulu ’amuun wa antum bil kheyr!

EID MUBARAK EVERYONE!!!

I am aware....and I am praying....I have not forgotten....

2006-10-15T03:05:00.000+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmsXIN5JYJE

Sitting here with eyes filled with tears I wonder how the Muslim Ummah ended up in this state. How is it that our children, brothers and sisters are being oppressed and killed from left, right and centre?

With Muslims making up a large number of the worlds population how can we let this happen? I have no doubt that nearly every Muslim prays for our fellow brothers and sisters experiencing hardship. But why does it seem like nothing? Why does it seem like our prayers are not being answered? What are we doing wrong? These are questions that have been haunting me for quite some time, especially at night (the time when I get to reflect and contemplate). Why? Why? Why? Why is it when billions of Muslims are putting their hands up in prayer do we not see a change?

The answer to my questions in the end was very simple.

If I wanted to lift a heavy container that weighed a lot, something that would definitely require some careful thinking before lifting. Would I just sit next to it and pray that Allah lift it for me to my destination? Would I just sit not doing anything hoping for a miracle from Allah that would help me move this container from A to B?

The answer is NO! I would pray that Allah makes it easy for me, that Allah doesn’t cause any harm to me through it and then I would proceed to lifting it.

Then why don’t we employ the same mentality that we do in our everyday lives to sort the issues affecting the Ummah? Why are we content with just sitting down in our cosy houses just saying a silent prayer? Why don’t we be proactive? Why don’t we go out there and do something?

I say this to myself before anybody else because I myself I’m not as proactive as I wish I could be. There is plenty more I could do. There is plenty more I should do. I can’t sit down enjoying life anymore while my brothers and sisters live in terror. While they are being persecuted. While innocent children die in the name of the so called democracy.

There is a hadith where the Prophet (SAW) says that if we see something we should first try to change it with our actions and if we can’t then we should try to do so with our tongue and if that isn’t possible then we should do so with our hearts and that is the weakest form of iman (keep in mind I am paraphrasing the hadith)

The Ummah is like a body if one part hurts then the whole body is not at ease. We should make the Ummah's problems our problems. We should try and do something about the state that we are in.

I have been praying for the Ummah for a while now…..throwing stones with my heart. It is about time I threw stones with my pen……with my words.....

Ten Thought To Ponder For the Muslimah......

2006-10-10T23:04:00.000+01:00

Remember that your Lord forgives those who ask him for forgiveness and he accepts the repentance of those who sincerely repent, and he accepts those who sincerely come back to him.

Show mercy to the weak and you will be happy; give to the needy and you will be well; do not bear grudges and you will be healthy.

Be optimistic for Allah is with you and the angels are praying for forgiveness for you, and paradise awaits you.

Wipe away your tears, think well of your Lord, and chase away your worries by remembering the blessings Allah has bestowed upon you.

Do not think that this world is ever perfect for anyone. There is no-one on the face of the earth who gets all that she/he wants or is free form all kinds of distress.

Be like a tall tree with high aims; if a stone is thrown at it, it simply lets its fruits drop.

Have you ever heard that grief brings back what has been lost, or that worry corrects mistakes? So why grieve and worry then?

Do not except trials and calamities; rather expect peace, safety and good health, if Allah wills.

Extinguish the flames of hatred from your heart by forgiving everyone who has ever hurt you.

Ghusl, Wudu’, siwak and being organised are effective medicines for all kinds of stress and worry.

Taken from 'You can be the happiest woman in the world'.

'A treasure chest of reminders'

by Dr 'A'id al Qarni

For the Muslimah.......

2006-10-09T09:04:00.000+01:00

Yes to your beautiful smile that sends a warmth and friendliness to others.

No to wasting time in trivial pursuits, love of revenge and futile arguments.

Yes to your kind words that establish friendship as permitted in Islam and dispel rancour

No to giving priority to money and accumulation of wealth over one’s health, happiness, sleep and peace of mind

Yes to acceptable charity that brings happiness to the poor and feeds the hungry

No to seeking other people’s faults and backbiting about them, whilst forgetting one’s own faults.

Yes to sitting with the Qur’an, reciting it, pondering its meanings and acting upon them, and repenting and seeking forgiveness.

No to indulging in physical pleasure alone and giving in to every whim and desire. To wasting money on haram things, being extravagant with regards to permissible things, and falling short in acts of worship.

Yes to raising your children in Islam, teaching them the Sunnah and guiding them to that which will benefit them.

No to wasting time with shallow people and spending hours in idle pursuits.

Yes to modesty and Hijab as enjoined by Allah, which is a means of self protection.

No to neglecting physical hygiene and cleanliness in the house, and being disorganised at home

Yes to friendship of good women who fear Allah, love Islam and respect high values.

No to haram drinks, cigarettes, shisha (“hookah pipes”), and all foul things.

Yes to honouring ones parents, upholding the ties of kinship, honouring one’s neighbour and caring for orphans.

No to thinking of past calamities and dwelling on past mistakes.

Yes to reading useful, interesting and beneficial books.

No to forgetting the Hereafter and neglecting to strive for it, and to being careless of what will happen in the Hereafter.

Taken from the book 'You can be the Happiest Woman in the World'
'A treasure chest of reminders'
by Dr 'A'id al-Qarni

Its been a year gurlz!

2006-10-01T21:42:00.000+01:00

So its just been over a week and things are going great alhamdulillah. Work has been flexible since it’s Ramadhan…that’s the joy of working with Muslims

So Friday was the MAB iftari………..and boy did it take a lot out of me!
First of all I walked from Moss Side to Levenshulme where Nawab Restaurant (the place where the iftari was held). Then when I got there they told me that they had run out of tickets. I just looked at the brother and thought “What?”

He just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders.

Brother: I’m sorry but all the tickets are booked we don’t have any more

Me: brother don’t play us like that….you must have a few that you can spare….I mean we payin

Brother: I’m sorry…..there is nothing I can do

Me: we walked from Moss Side…..brother have some sympathy!

Brother: sorry (shrugs his shoulders)

Me: ok….kheyr inshaAllah. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.

So I’m really disappointed by now but not yet despairing…..so I call everyone on my line that might be selling tickets. Get a massive disappointed because no-one has any left. I decided to call White African to see if she is going and she tells me she is. It was exactly a year ago at the same event that I met her…..so this event had some sort of a special meaning for me.

As I am about to leave the brother comes up to us (now our group consisted of Shuks, Gdon, Fdows, BabyH and myself) he says he only has two tickets for Gdon and Fdows. So we ask them to take it.
One of my friends from uni comes up to me and says “I have one ticket…do you guys want it?”

I reply “we want three…..aint you got 3?

She says “I only got one”

I call Shuks over and ask her to have the ticket coz I can’t leave Baby H and she can’t leave me (we are attached at the hip). She accepts reluctantly.

By now I’m consoling myself by saying it wasn’t meant to be. As BabyH and I were about to leave the brother comes back and says “I have two tickets”. I look at him as if to say are you for real?
Then Shuks speaks up and says “we want three…..there’s three people left (while looking for a ticket we met this girl who was in the same dilemma as we were…..so we couldn’t leave her by herself).

“I thought you wanted two?” says the brother

“We can’t leave our sister hanging” replies Shuks

“Sister? She is not your sister” says the brother

You should note that the sister was Pakistani and the rest of us were Somali.

“She is our sister is Islam” I reply

The brother then smiles and gives us the ticket.
I wanted to hi-5 the brother……..but then that kinda act aint exactly appropriate (especially in an Islamic event…..u feel me).

Went inside and had a good time. A lot of talents were showcased. The story of the King and the boy was entertaining and a good reminder.

Poetry by the Quest was one of my highlights together with the play. I have to say that the two brothers were talented hands down. The play was hilarious and White African provided an excellent narrative.

The best part was the dua delivered by White African’s father……..it was just beautiful!

All in all…..it was a night well spent.

This event marked the first anniversary of my friendship with the Group…….it was what got the ball rolling…..by the will of Allah.

MashaAllah it has been a blessing knowing these girls……they have increased me in knowledge and encouraged me to be a better person.

Just wanted to say that I love y’all…….4real.
You my sistas and my homies………….may Allah keep us together for many more years….ameen.

By the way…..I know I live in Moss Side and I walk around as if I’m a gangsta (albeit a hijabi gangsta…lol) but I did not sneak into the iftari. Allah just showered his mercy on me…alhamdulillah. That myth should be dispelled of………lool

Luv ya'all

Curbing my addiction

2006-09-26T21:44:00.000+01:00

Since Ramadhan is a time for breaking habits I decided it's high time I curbed my caffeine addiction. Four days into the blessed month and I haven't had a any (except for a cup and a half of coffee when NM visited).

It's proving difficult......I have had a constant headache and bouts of dizziness coupled with being costantly tired. At first I thought I was coming down with some virus but I eventually concluded that this was my caffeine withdrawal symptoms.

Maybe going cold turkey wasn't the right way.......I'll see how I feel in the next few days and if I can beat this cold turkey. If not I would have one cup a day but I hope it doesn't come to this.

InshaAllah kheyr

RAMADHAN KAREEM........RAMADHAN MUBARAK!

2006-09-22T23:16:00.000+01:00

Once again we have been blessed with the ability to witness the holy month of Ramadhan. A chance for us to rejuvinate and purify our soul. A month if observed properly and sincerely then by the mercy of ALLAH your sins will be forgiven. A month where we are given the chance to sympathise and empthise with those enduring hardships, A month where you exercise patience, tolerance and discipline by abstaining form your innate desires. A month where tha gates of hell are shut and those of heaven are wide open. A chance for us to reflect and contemplate, to wipe our slate clean and have a new beginning. A month to devote to your creator and his creation........a month with a thousand blessings.

I pray each and every one of us is able to reap the benefits and take advantage of the mercy and blessings ALLAH has bestowed upon us on this Holy month......ameen

Ya Allah forgive us our sins and help us fight the whispers of the shaytan and our nafs. Help us overcome our worldly desires and grant us the abilty to worship you with pure heart and sincerety.................ameen.

I paray that this month is all that we expect and more....ameen

Ramadhan Kareem to all those from my virtual community!

The new man in my life!

2006-09-22T23:01:00.000+01:00

He is sweet, he's beautiful and all that I ever wished for. He is a that shining light and a glimmer of all things nice. He calms my heart and brightens my day. My gift from ALLAH.............. May he grow to be pious and God fearing, May he grow to be one filled with kindness and a radiation of inner beauty. May he be a blessed son to all..........ameen

Bureau of Double Standards

2006-09-21T09:44:00.000+01:00

Some time ago a Kenyan Cabinet Minister and Chair of the Parliamentary Committee on Defence was so incensed by the movie the Da Vinci Code that he threatened the President of the republic with dire consequences if the movie was shown.

Some time earlier angry mobs had attacked some churches of the Presbyterian Church, defacing them and claiming that they bore the marks of the devil. A while earlier, across the continent troops of baboons posing as Anglican Bishops threatened to walk out of the Anglican Communion if the Church of England went on to ordain gay clergy.

Across the Atlantic Ocean in the USA, Pat Robertson, a clergyman, former Presidential candidate, Presidential Adviser on Religion, Chapel Prefect of the Republican Party and purveyor of the Gospels on the CBS network called for the assassination of the Catholic President of Venezuela. Also in the United States, several clinic offering health services to women have been targeted for spiritual incendiary with bombs and targeted assassinations of abortion doctors and nurses.

The United States has its fair dose of weird cults, the most famous of which is David Koresh's. There are numerous more colourful ones, many violent and most with codes that are distinctly anti-enlightenment values. More mainstream are millennialist religious organisations that back Israel with the view that the entrenchment of the Jews in Palestine, and their subsequent conversion or annihilation will herald the rapture. So the murder of Arabs is kosher as it ushers the Second Coming. Returning home, we encounter the gory Ten Commandments movement and Joseph Kony.

What do all these groups and people share? A literalist translation of their holy book, the Bible, and an aversion for common decency that is called fundamentalism in journalistic cant. They also happen to be Christians, and so these stories do not regularly make it to the front pages. They are certainly not seen as symptomatic of a deep malaise in Christianity.

However, the murder of a 65 year old nun in war-torn, largely lawless Somalia is evidence of Islam's unique innately murderous nature. The kidnaps in the Gaza strip and the West Bank show that Muslims like their Prophet are evil, but when Nigerians capture for ransom Western oil-workers their religion is not mentioned. You heard of the Christian Phalangists in Lebanon, of Sabra and Shatilla? Not likely. Ariel Sharon is an elder statesman and uniquely was allowed to become Prime Minister in spite of the fact that Israeli institutions found him guilty of war crimes with regard to the Sabra and Shatilla massacres.

We are persuaded of the veracity of the Pope's quotes by historians who then fail to explain how the people of America were converted, or indeed the Africans and the Australasians.

The BBC and SkyNews have been broadcasting for the last 4 days endless continuous footage of the Pope's speech, misinterpreting it and asking the Muslim congregation, what are you going to do about it. They have paraded every clown available to showcase his most bigoted racist views on TV, so we can all sit back and ponder just how right the Pope was, just how right Emperor Manuel was. We live in a world where merely doubting any facet of the Holocaust narrative can land one in jail, but where it is open season on Islam.

The reactions to offence, much like non-state terrorism or the kidnaps cited above are corollaries of deeply held feelings of injustice and powerlessness. They are emblematic of societies that have despaired of fair judgement in the courts of the world's opinion, dehumanised, weak and without leadership they resort to barbarism to express their anguish, whether on the streets of Washington DC or Paris or Warsaw or Islamabad.

In the end unless Western society feels its spirit can take on another Holocaust, she will have to stop making a fetish of Islam and its violence and seek in homage to the last Pope to make a lasting peace with Islam, a just compromise that is respectful of an old and sometime great civilisation.

P.S Minutes after I finished typing this out a German friend pointed out to me that the Pope's words were rather different than the English translation offered up by the Anglo-Saxon Press. Schlecht or bad, mutated into boese or evil, which obviously has greater capacity to cause injury. Moreover the Pontiff went on to describe as 'brusque' or churlish, or boorish' the statement attributed to Emperor Manuel.

http://www.urkenya.com/article.cfm?articleID=179

This article raised some good points......I just thought I should share it with you all.

I'm in love......and yes it's real!

2006-09-17T23:29:00.000+01:00

I always thought that love at first sight was a myth….but I have been proven wrong. My heart was stolen by this beautiful creature on Saturday 16th September at 7:25pm. As soon as I laid eyes on him I knew I was hooked and didn’t want to leave him . His beautiful large eyes which inquisitively searched the room tagged at my heart strings. How is it one is able to love so suddenly….and so unconditionally? I’ve only known him for 24hrs and yet I cannot picture my world without him. He is the first thing I think about and the last….in fact he is all I think about. SubhanaAllah, truly Allah is amazing

CHOICES

2006-09-14T23:44:00.000+01:00

If I can't do
what I want to do
then my job is to not
do what I don't want
to do

It's not the same thing
but it's the best I can
do

If I can't have
what I want . . . then
my job is to want
what I’ve got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want

Since I can't go
where I need
to go . . . then I must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement isn't lateral

When I can't express
what I really feel
I practice feeling
what I can express
and none of it is equal

I know
but that's why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry

Written by Nikki Giovanni

Black Brotha

2006-09-13T21:56:00.000+01:00

Angie Stone feat. Alicia Keys & Eve: Brotha (Remix)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aeb1-Bov7ug

[Alicia Keys]
Yeah, ha ha

[Angie Stone]
Alicia

[Alicia Keys]
Say what Angie?

[Angie Stone]
Eve

[Alicia Keys]
Come on Angie

[Angie Stone]
Roll with a sista for a brotha

[Alicia Keys]
Ok

[Angie Stone]
He is my king, he is my one
My father, my son
He understands just what I am, he's my man
I'm here to show ya nuttin but love for ya
Let a sista glow you
My brotha, brotha brotha, brotha

[Alicia Keys]
He's my support system,
he likes his soul sista
And I can't live without him

[Angie Stone]
I love his lips his kiss his touch and his smile

[Alicia Keys]
That love is legendary,
his love is necessary
I want him with me daily

[Angie Stone]
I just want the world to know, about my

[Chorus: Alicia Keys]
Black brotha strong brotha
My brotha
I love ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Black brotha here for ya
There's only one above ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha

[Angie Stone]
Misunderstood, up to no good, around the hood
Some say this but they don't know shit, about my man
Fo yo' information, lot's of education, that of a situation
Brothas brothas gonna show you

[Alicia Keys]
He's my support system,
he likes his soul sista
And I can't live without him

[Angie Stone]
Can't live without him

[Alicia Keys]
That love is legendary,
his love is necessary
I want him with me daily

[Angie Stone]
You better believe, uh...ah ha....

[Chorus: Alicia Keys]
Black brotha strong brotha
My brotha I love ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Black brotha here for ya
There's only one above ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha

[Eve]
Come on....yo!
I'm a hold down my soldier,
weight of the world on his shoulders
Be real who else gon hold the
Call in my heartbeat, make my soul weak
'Course I'll never leave speak in tongues when he rolls deep
All I need is him, how he pull me in?
Rough and rugged daddy do me right no refusin him
Some they like to call him criminal cause of his style
Hustler, caged by the world so he live wild
Gotta stay strong cause we they backbone
And if a chicken try to creep then your coop she get slapped on
It's the reality, what's mine is mine
And look but don't touch until I resign and
Everything I need in him, I fiend for him
Fights the heavy knight, see the way I adore him
He never go nowhere without her, he gotta keep her
This is a dedication from me Angie and Alicia to my

[Chorus: Alicia Keys]
Black brotha strong brotha
My brotha I love ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Black brotha here for ya
There's only one above ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Black brotha strong brotha
My brotha I love ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Black brotha here for ya
There's only one above ya
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha
Clap your hands clap your hands for ya brotha brotha

Amazing?

2006-09-05T13:48:00.000+01:00

My not so amazing but will have to do list of things..........

1. I adapt the accent of whoever I am speaking to. This attribute is rather embarrassing because people think that I am imitating them but really I just cant help it.

2. I am able to ‘hang out’ with any age group. From my youngsters to my elders. Most of my friends will tell you that I ‘chill out’ with their mothers (and lil and older siblings) a little too comfortably.

3. I look like a girl, I have the body of a girl and yet I act like a boy. I am one of the few tomboys who are not easily recognized as one because I wear an 'abaya'....loool

4. I laugh at absolutely anything….my sense of humour over-rides most things. Only a few people understand what I am laughing at as I laugh at the most weirdest things. I can’t help it….am just a happy person.

5. I am able to detach myself from anything that I feel will emotionally suffocate me, I will act as if nothing is wrong that even those close to me find it difficult to pinpoint unless I voluntarily offer info. I am not sure if this is a good thing or not………

6. I have broken my collar bone, dislocated and broken my shoulder, sprained my ankle, damaged the ligament of my foot and have an injured pelvic bone. What is amazing is all this is on the right side of my body…..the side that does most of the work. And alhamdulillah I am still running and living life..........

7.Another thing is that I have fractured my tailbone twice…….and that was not pretty both times. I have difficulty sitting on hard surfaces for a long time which can be hell embarassing when you go to a new a place and try to decline politely when asked to sit on hard surfaced chairs……. I am wondering if I should have shared that piece of info………

8. I have a high threshold for bullshit so long as it is directed at me and not others. For some reason I find it easy to tolerate someone directing ill omen at me but can’t exercise the same type of patience when it is directed at others. Go figure…….

9. I easily forgive……..

10. I am my family's and friends agony aunt….everybody in the house seems to trust me with everything be it their secret thought or their secret stash of something forbidden or anything they want to keep on the d-low....another thing is that strangers seem to want to tell me their problems or crazy thing they have done in their life.......

That's all folks.......
Now that the damage is done……..I guess I’ll be leaving.
Before I do that....I am tagging NM,White African and MD although I doubt MD will be posting anything soon ;)

Ideas......Decisions......Life

2006-09-04T12:00:00.000+01:00

I have just had an idea which might be able to help a group of people who are very close and dear to me. It is rather risky and involves a lot sacrifices on my part and theirs. However I believe that the end result might be might be one that benefits them for the better. It requires patience and a lot of tolerance but as I said………the end result might be one which is of benefits to us all.

Now the main thing would be to present the idea to them and see if they will accept it. I am hoping they would for their own good……. I mean I will be making the biggest sacrifice in this situation but I am prepared to do so because these people are very dear to me.

All I can do for now is pray and hope the Almighty guides us all in the right path, and blesses the final decision that is made whether it is in the affirmative or otherwise.
Now I have to prepare my speech and wait for the right opportunity to present it inshaAllah.

Y’all make dua for us that the right decision by Allah is made inshaAllah

A Day in the Life of a Paradox

2006-09-02T21:01:00.000+01:00

The act of staying sane is making me crazy
I watch the blind
hear the deaf
kill for life
happy to be angry
live for my death
I hate my love
live underground
but attack from above
a criminal for justice
I fight for peace
a fool for wisdom
a man with a piece
The chrome shines
but my kind laughs at guns
I fear none
that's when I got jacked by nuns
I live in a time when priests cheat
when a brothers keeper won't keep
when you can sell your body and sell your soul on the same street
demons make millions selling death to children
buildings takes place of nature
the sun burns through glaciers
pure energy
you hear imagery
and see sounds
smells verbs and nouns
looked up to those on the ground
not those standing over
its touch but not much
I'm in nights clutnowhere I find a four leaf clover
only weeds that are picked to inhale
jail cells in hell
my habitat repels
light and such
I can look forch
trying to make me nocturnal
paternal thoughts
I watch
cross the street
slide and collide
with reality
the mentality of me is unknown
not fully grown
but owned by me
and only me
it's swollen me
to this illiotic level of poetry…

By Amir Suleiman

Hollow.....

2006-08-31T15:47:00.000+01:00

Well I hope you are all in the best of health and iman.

Nothing much has been happening since Monday……apart from NM booking her ticket to Egypt . She will be going for 6mnths……and inshaAllah I will join her there on her third month.

I have just been contemplating life….well to be honest I have been contemplating my life. Not anything to put on screen yet…..its just a bunch of nonsensical mumbo jumbo half the time….but the other half is quiet deep and profound . Jut a few thoughts to reassure me that the crevices of my mind are actually filled with something meaningful .

I see that Firefly has tagged me to name Ten Amazing things about myself……..right now am sitting alone in my house…not feeling very optimistic so I don’t think I will be able to name anything amazing. Maybe I should ask those who know me…….

As humans its much more easier for us to address our negative points much more that our positive ones….although there are a few individuals out there who will contradict this statement… J

Maybe next post Firefly…after I have asked a few people and I feel less dubious and pessimistic!
Damn…I feel as though I’m wimping out………….

Somewhere but i dont know where...

2006-08-28T13:47:00.000+01:00

I'm somewhere in between:

Imaginery and reality

Mediocrity and abnormality

A citizen and a nationality

A closed mind and a split peronality

begging for change and begging for salary

By Amir Suleiman

Brother Amir Suleiman is a spoken word poet who doesn't shy away from telling the truth. i like the powerful way in which he delivers his pieces.....one of my fav pieces is danger...if i can find an audio I will post it inshaAllah. I find his poetry easy to relate to......i feel where the brother is coming from. Anyway enough of my rambling........y'all stay in good health now inshaAllah

till then.......

Peace!

Stuff!

2006-08-28T10:59:00.000+01:00

Early Monday morning....and I am up. For what reason?........ I decided to be the good samaritan and help out on a Bank Holiday. I am starting to rethink this good samaritan thing......after a cup of coffee (don't wanna overdo on the caffeine and get dehydrated) I am still sleepy and I feel as though I have run a mile. Granted I didn't sleep Saturday night and last night I slept around 1am. It doesn't help at times that I am now exercising and trying to be active. Actually the exercising is good for me because all my old injurys are starting to resurface because of my unfit state.

Oh yea....another thing. It looks like my sister will be giving birth soon and guess who will be by her side (yep you guessed it.....me myself and I) even though my mother thinks it will put me off the idea of having a baby. But I disagree....plus me and my brother in law have made a deal....if he isn't there I get to go in the delivery room.

MD is coming back today from her six weeks holiday in Egypt to sunny Manchester.

I guess that's just about it for now.
So ciao!

ARE U READY FOR THIS TRIP?!

2006-08-15T01:29:00.000+01:00

PERSONAL ID PASSPORT:
Passenger Name: Human Being (YOU) Background: Of Mud; Dirt; Dust and clay Address: Planet Earth

TRAVEL INFORMATION:

Departing From: Life on Earth

Destination: The Hereafter Time of Departure: "No soul knoweth what it will earn tomorrow, and no soul knoweth in what land it will die." (Surah Luqmaan, Ayah 34)

Time of Arrival: "And the stupor of death will come intruth; that is what you were trying to escape!" (SurahQaaf, Ayah 19)

HAPPY TRIP!

PERMITTED LUGGAGE ON TRIP:

(The following is allowed for passengers to Bring onthe trip)

1-White Wrapping Cloth That's About Two Meters inLength

2-Good Doing and Deeds

3-A good child of the passenger who will pray forhim/her when they have departed

4-Islamic knowledge which is beneficiary to passenger(s)

5-On-going Fund/Sadaqah (Money/food/charity constantly being given away on behalf of the traveler of which he/she will gain Hasanat after his/her departure)

6- Other luggage/belongings may not be permitted nor will benefit passengers on this trip

RULES FOR YOUR TRIP:

It is required for all travelers participating in thistrip to follow all instructions and information mentioned in Allah's book-The Holy Quran- and theSunah of His Prophet and Messenger (Muhammad {sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam}). Examples of Required Rules:

-Obedience, Love, Worship, and Fear of Allah

-The constant belief and remembrance of death

-The awareness that nothing awaits man at his/her destination (Hereafter) other than Heaven (Janna) orHell (Jahannum)

-Respect, Good Treatment, and Obedience of Parents

-Make sure everything you ate, drank, or wore in your life was Halal (permitted and allowed in Islam), notHaram.

For more information, please contact:

Allah's book-The Holy Quran, and follows the sunah of the Messenger(Peace be Upon Him).

NOTIFICATION:

Please note your call (contact) is free of charge, asyou are always welcome to contact the two mentioned above. There is no need to reconfirm your registration. There is no limit as to the weight or how much of your good deeds or any other allowed luggage (listed above) for you to bring along with you on your final trip. Be supplied with as much good deeds for your trip as you wish. Enjoy Your Trip!

Brothers and Sisters, you must be aware that we will ALL go on this trip, be it tomorrow, in five minutes,or in 80 years, your departing day will come. So please be prepared for it, and help others prepare themselves for their FINAL TRIP by reminding as many people as possible that death is inevitable, and Inshallah you will get ajer (Hasanat) for it.

Jazakallah KhairunThe very fact that you have been reminded of death is a sign of Allah's Mercy and Kindness on you.
Asalamu Alaikum

Alhamdulillah........MashaAllah!!

2006-08-01T03:36:00.000+01:00

My friend has said the shahada………..mashaAllah. I am lost for words. I am happy to the point of tears. Wow! Well that’s it really….she is now a muslim…..alhamdulillah!

Being Random!

2006-07-31T01:08:00.000+01:00

Well….it has been a week of planning and researching.

First and foremost NM and I have been given the ability to sort out our issues with a certain friend. ALLAH (s.w) sent inspiration to us via White African….alhamdulillah. Jazakillah for the help White African.

WA has left for morocco for 10 days…….I hope she had a safe a safe trip and ALLAH keeps her and her companions in best health and of iman, and returns them safely back to us ……ameen

I think we might have finally found an all female martial arts class…….I know we have found a belly dancing class to accommodate our needs ( we need to get fit and toned……sitting around on our lazy butts all day aint gonna do us good).

Another funny incident occurred.......WA, NM and I had to teach a little rudebwoy wannabe a lesson......I will NM have the honour of blogging about this.

Plans on broadening my linguistic skill have been slightly modified. Together with plans on learning Arabic I will also be learning Bosnian (albeit basic). On top of that save for our Egypt trip with NM. It’s going to be the most hectic six months in along while. This sounds a bit far fetched but I am hoping to fit in driving lessons into my schedule as well (although I am wondering whether I should leave that to NM and keep riding on the passenger side for a little longer.........hell its cheaper so you cant knock it).

Oh........another funny thing (I nearly forgot). While innocently surfing brother Rendezvous blog I decided to curiously browse through his links. I came across a blog called Native Xalimo (I was wondering who has the same name as my blog...........and wondering why I didn’t think of adding Xalimo to my name instead of Female). Anyway I was with NM at the time and it made us laugh. By the way……brother Rendezvous has cool blog.........entirely dedicated to Muslim women........I guess he knows we are the better half......lool

I also watched District 13 (the French movie)......it was good! And I met some great Muslim teenagers from London and Bosnia. MashaAllah.....this kids migth be going places....they are our future!

Hhmm!

2006-07-26T00:29:00.000+01:00

"Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference, has never been in bed with a mosquito."

I've suffered from malaria so I know a mosquito makes a hell of a difference.........

Think about this and then let me know if you still think that you can't make a difference in this world............

Confused Soul!

2006-07-21T14:39:00.000+01:00

Friday……a day of rest for the muslims. People gather at jumma prayers and you see all the brothers in their khamis on their way to drop two for ALLAH. Me personally I hardly go to Friday prayers….most of the time I observe my prayers at home.

It's quite warm here in Mancity today…..its averaging on around 29-30 degrees C. So you can imagine it’s a bit more warmer for us hijabis (but hey…..hell is hotter!).

Today I have an evening shift at work and to be honest I don’t want to go……but I need the money. If I am going to be able to fund my gap year and start paying my debts I might as well stick to it and keep going.

Yesterday after work on my way home (at just past 9pm)…was with NM and S but their bus came and they went home………and I was kinda glad to have sometime with myself actually. However that wouldn’t be the case……instead I was approached by a drunk Somali man. He wouldn’t let get home……infact he followed me all the way there (yea….kinda scary but in a way I was prepared to practice my kickboxing if he played up….how I was going to do that with a skirt I don’t know but I would’ve thought of something). Anyway the brother insisted on having a philosophical conversation on the existence of God with me and why God made me a female and him a male. Here is an excerpt of our convo:

Drunk man: do you believe in God

Me: of course I do. Do you?

Drunk man: yea..

Me: why do believe in God?

Drunk man: because my parents believe in God. Why do you believe in God?

Me: I believe in God because He is the answer to my questions. When I see all that is around me and I wonder how I came to be, my answer is always a higher being is responsible. God is responsible…..

Drunk man: you are not making sense……tell me why you are female and why I’m male?

Me: because ALLAH willed it and wished it. There are some things in life you are not meant to question. Alhamdulillah I am a female……obviously this is what is kheyr for me. ALLAH always give us what is kheyr for us I believe!

At this point I am having a headache from the smell of alcohol……I'm a bit of a lightweight and when I smell alcohol I feel dizzy (sort of what I envision a drunk person feeling after getting hammered).

Drunk man: no-one has ever spoken to me this way…

Me: am sorry for that….I hope I did the right thing

Drunk man: can you help me with the deen?

Me: well I can’t personally help you because I am uncomfortable spending time with a non-mahram but if you are serious about this I can put you in touch with brothers who are more knowledgeable in the deen and can help you.

Drunk man: no……I want your help!

Me: why me specifically?

Drunk man: because I love you and I believe you are an angel…

Me: well thank you….but I am mere human being and am sure after you are sober you will realise you don’t love me.

Drunk man: why do you hate me (crying)

Me: I don’t hate you…..in fact I don’t think I hate anybody in this world

Drunk man: you hate me (still crying)

Me: I don’t know you to hate you. All I know about you is that you are a confused 35 year old drunk. That is not enough for me to form an opinion about you.

Drunk man: I am coming to ask fr your hand in marriage!

Me: stop drinking and try to be a better muslim and you might stand a chance with a muslim girl….

Drunk man: you do hate me!

Me: listen all you have to do is stop drinking because you are killing yourself painfully. Go visit an islam info centre and work for your hearafter.

Drunk man: give me your number.

Me: no I won’t

Drunk man: let me give you mine

Me: there is no point in that because I won’t call you

Drunk man: why

Me: because I don’t want to……listen brother I have been talking to you for nearly an hour and we have been going around in circles. So I am going to go home

Drunk man: no!!

Me: uh…yes I am. So I guess I am wishing kheyr for you and will make dua for you. I hope you do the same for me.

This was the end of it…..I went inside and he left. Then it dawned on me that I asked a drunk man to say dua for me……..

What was heartbreaking about this whole thing was the brother was quoting ayahs of the Quran and translating them for me. He is just a misguided soul who needs help…….I pray that he is able to sort himself out and become a better person.

Another thing NM and I are also having some issues with a new friend. However inshaAllah kheyr. Things will hopefully sort themselves out or we will have the inspiration to sort it out ourselves.

MD has also left us here in Manchester for Alexandria in Egypt. She will spending 6 weeks there learning Arabic she says…..but probably she will having more fun than studying. Lucky girl!

Hopefully if my savings go according to plan I myself might be in Egypt in a few months time……inshaAllah kheyr!

Hey Sista!

2006-07-18T01:07:00.000+01:00

Sista to Sista

We are unlike no other,
We embrace you like, the rings of Saturn.
We are part of every life's beauty.
Tall as the palm, and strong as the Cypress.
Sistas' are the cool of the ebony night,
and the morning dove in flight.
We are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,
and the passionate force in every brothas' soul.
Cultured like fresh water pearls, different shades of blackness in every world.
We shine like flawless diamonds of the African mines.
The most beautiful women from the beginning of time.

Written by Kimberly Robinson aka… PaintedDiary

Hijab

2006-07-14T00:51:00.000+01:00

Still on the topic of Hijab....................I thought I'd share with you all this piece of beautiful writing which always makes me smile. It looks at the hijab from a different perspective..........

THE ELEGANT HIJAB

The pea is a splendid plant. It proudly displays its strong green Hijab. Which protects it from the hot and cold weather and guards it from insects. Allah has blessed the pea with a special Hijab, because without it, the seeds would scatter, dry up and die.

The orange keeps itself within its shiny orange Hijab to protect its delicious fruit. Otherwise it loses its taste too.

So are the banana, the coconut and the pomegranate. Each one has an elegant and unique Hijab, which protects it from disease and destruction.

The jewel of the sea, the pearl, has been given a very tough and rugged Hijab - oyster shell. It protects it from sea animals and keeps it sparkling and shining inside.

However, the most beloved of Allah in all His creation is the Muslim girl who wears the Hijab. She knows it is a gift from Allah. It protects her from harm, injury and mischief. She wears it knowing it gives her dignity, beauty and respect. So precious she can be that she hides herself beneath her Hijab.

Do you wear a Hijab? Give it a try today.

Taken from: www.jamiat.org.za
I am not sure if this piece of writting is still posted on the site (it was a long while ago when I took it from the site)...you can always try and see though!

Reflections!

2006-07-03T20:25:00.000+01:00

One of my brother's friend lost his life in a house fire caused by a gas leak (his older brother, his wife and two kids were also lost in this tragedy). The boy (called Abdirahman) was only 18.

My mom just called us from back home to tell us this. It happened this afternoon (kenya time).

May ALLAH have mercy on them and grant them jannah! Ameen

This reminds me that death does not discriminate.
Truly......kulu nafsun da'iqatal maut!

Life is short.........people let us use our time on earth productively.
I for one need to increase my dhikr and taqwa. Lately my 'ibadah hasn't been what it should be.

Inalillahi wa ina ilayhi raji'un.

The Veil!

2006-06-30T23:47:00.000+01:00

When you tell us this is the western and we are free. That we don’t need to be oppressed, ashamed of our femininity
We just shake our head and speak, saying
"See the billboards and the magazines, the line and the checkout isle with their phoney painted faces and air brushed smiles. Well your sheer cloths and low cut gowns aren’t really for us.
You might call it freedom but we call it anarchy!
So............lift the veil from your heart and seek the heart of purity
This hijab this mark of piety is an act of faith a symbol for all the world to see a simple cloth to preserve our dignity"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58jpmpT_wco

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sisters sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.
Surah An-Nur Ayah 31

Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: Asma, daughter of AbuBakr, entered upon the Apostle of Allah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) wearing thin clothes. The Apostle of Allah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) turned his attention from her. He said: O Asma', when a woman reaches the age of menstruation, it does not suit her that she displays her parts of body except this and this, and he pointed to her face and hands.
Sunan AbuDawud

Dedicated to all my sisters around the world who are struggling with the law to wear the hijab.
To my other sisters who ALLAH has blessed with the ability to wear the hijab, I think it's time we were thankful and keep our less fortunate sisters in our duas

Blaa Blaaa Bleurgh?!!!

2006-06-27T13:38:00.000+01:00

Ok I have now joined the working force.........my bank account will be active and my manager will get off my case….inshaAllah. Once again I have a purpose........since school ended I have been feeling as though I was lost(without a purpose). But now I wake up knowing atleast I don’t spend seven days doing nothing...........

Having a job is great but there’s a problem.......since the exams my brain has shut down on me and I am unable to process thoughts at a reasonable speed (in other words I am slow.....dopey slow). Another thing as well I cant speak....hence the title of the blog. I can’t string two/three sentences together without uttering something incoherent. I don’t make sense anymore......I am lost.

They are gonna sack me from work (God forbid) if I continue jumbling my words and mumbling so........

People make dua for Native........I desperately need my old, alert brain back (ok.....maybe I was always dopey but now it’s on another level so.........)

MAKE DUA HOMIEZ!!!!

MENTALLY INCARCERATED!

2006-06-21T23:54:00.000+01:00

This speech was delivered by Willie Lynch on the bank of the James River in the colony of Virginia in 1712. Lynch was a British slave owner in the West Indies. He was invited to the colony of Virginia in 1712 to teach his methods to slave owners there. The term "lynching" is derived from his last name.

"Gentlemen. I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First, I shall thank you, the gentlemen of the Colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies, where I have experimented with some of the newest and still the oldest methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome's would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious King, whose version of the Bible we Cherish, I saw enough to know that your problem is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing human bodies along its highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasions. I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree, a couple miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, You suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed. Gentlemen, you know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. I am not here to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them. In my bag here, I HAVE A FULL PROOF METHOD FOR CONTROLLING YOUR BLACK SLAVES. I guarantee every one of you that if installed correctly IT WILL CONTROL THE SLAVES FOR AT LEAST 300 HUNDREDS YEARS. My method is simple. Any member of your family or your overseer can use it. I HAVE OUTLINED A NUMBER OF DIFFERENCES AMONG THE SLAVES; AND I TAKE THESE DIFFERENCES AND MAKE THEM BIGGER. I USE FEAR, DISTRUST AND ENVY FOR CONTROL PURPOSES. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little list of differences and think about them. On top of my list is "AGE" but it's there only because it starts with an "A." The second is "COLOR" or shade, there is INTELLIGENCE, SIZE, SEX, SIZES OF PLANTATIONS, STATUS on plantations, ATTITUDE of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine hair, course hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you a outline of action, but before that, I shall assure you that DISTRUST IS STRONGER THAN TRUST AND ENVY STRONGER THAN ADULATION, RESPECT OR ADMIRATION. The Black slaves after receiving this indoctrination shall carry on and will become self refuelling and self generating for HUNDREDS of years, maybe THOUSANDS. Don't forget you must pitch the OLD black Male vs. the YOUNG black Male, and the YOUNG black Male against the OLD black male. You must use the DARK skin slaves vs. the LIGHT skin slaves, and the LIGHT skin slaves vs. the DARK skin slaves. You must use the FEMALE vs. the MALE. And the MALE vs. the FEMALE. You must also have you white servants and over- seers distrust all Blacks. But it is NECESSARY THAT YOUR SLAVES TRUST AND DEPEND ON US. THEY MUST LOVE, RESPECT AND TRUST ONLY US. Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control. Use them. Have your wives and children use them, never miss an opportunity. IF USED INTENSELY FOR ONE YEAR, THE SLAVES THEMSELVES WILL REMAIN PERPETUALLY DISTRUSTFUL. Thank you gentlemen."

These techniques are still practiced to this very day on various communities (not just blacks per se). Whilst they may not be in chains, their minds and actions are testament to that. You just have too look around to see the proof…………

Makes you think doesn't it?!

Domesticated

2006-06-17T02:18:00.000+01:00

I have surpassed myself!
I baked and there were no casualties..........in fact I was pretty darn good if I may say so myself. Hope has been installed for I am capable of being the domestic queen!
Yipeeeeeeeeeee for my mum............and maybe future husband (looooooooooool)

Till we get there!

2006-06-14T01:41:00.000+01:00

TILL WE GET THERE FEAT. K'NAAN (M-1 (of Dead Prez))

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

K'naan:
here we go
from the poorest and blackest of people
2 survivng the streets the streets of mogadishu
the most dangerous and lethal
yet peaceful
we know evil
I come from the slums that's run down
speak native intelligent tongue sound
would rather get gunned down than dumb down
so calm down

M1 :
much success to you comrade
to who I wronged if its never been said before
my bad
I took a page from the book of martin luther
and decided that its better to hug you than 2 shoot you
am sorry homie if its not wat u used to
but the way that we livin this black lives is beautiful
all the things we been thru
and the thing we done blew
we probably family but we never knew

Stori:
chorus
till we get there I am on ur side
till we get there I am on ur side
it could take some time
till we win this fight
till we get there I am on ur side

M1:
dats wat's called solidarity
wen we struggle its therapy
at the kr's we get clarity
my enemy's enemy is my man remember
I aint tryin 2 b endin up in this man's dilema
we only here 4 a minute
its wat u make uself livin
see am a rider and am gonn' be remembered
4 those of u not born to those u not here
I wish u da best and dats real

About time!

2006-06-12T14:03:00.000+01:00

Summer is here , and with it my hay fever. Constant tearing eyes coupled with a blocked nose and itchy throat. The heat makes me feel lethargic, I feel as though I don’t want to do anything. Just want to spend my days lazing around the house, until later in the day when it gets a little cooler.

The heat…………an excuse for people to shed their clothes. Are they not aware of the dangers of skin cancer ( the number of sufferers of this disease is constantly rising for God’s sake). What really p***es me off is the fact that it’s the women who seem to shed their clothes much easier than the men . I mean c’mon a little bit of modesty goes a long way. The way is see it modesty protects an individual from a lot of unwanted attention. Let me not get into too much detail concerning this subject.

Last time I blogged I was feeling rather confused……..I’m still not sure of myself yet. However the doubts in my pool of confusion are slowly evaporating away. There is hope. I have hope. I figured that there is a reason for this confusion……it’s just preparing for the path that I am supposed to take. What that path is I am not yet sure……but I have concluded that everything I am going through right now is preparing me for something. I have also realized that I am ready to take on whatever comes my way…….Allah always tests us with hurdles that we can cross not with ones that are too high that it will be impossible for us to jump. So far instead of wallowing in my confusion I have decided to make the best out of the situation. Things are looking up……..inshaAllah kheyr. At the end of the day whatever happens its khadr Allah. I have decided to take solace in the fact that this is all a test and whatever happens it’s what Ar-Rahman willed. My moto right now is alhamdulillah ‘ala kuli hal……

I feel like I have all this nice bubbly feeling inside of me, I am content. I’m scared of the future but am at ease with the fact that there is a higher power at work here. The best that I can do is put in all the effort that I can…..try the best that I can and the rest is up to the Almighty.
When it's all said and done I hope to be right there saying "Alhamdulillah 'ala kuli hal!" Because praise is to Allah whatever the circumstances!

Thoughts without flow.......

2006-05-27T03:30:00.000+01:00

Do you ever wonder if you have made the right decisions? I mean……its been an eventful 2yrs for me. So may changes have occurred in my life, I’ve learnt more in these 2yrs than I have my whole life.They have encompassed the most painful times of my life and also the most happiest.

I have shed tears of pain and also of happiness. I have lost friends and family and gained new ones. I have stumbled across the harsh realities of life. I have realised that your family don’t necessarily include your relatives. One thing that I have learnt is however much you are there for a person, however much you stand by them, holding them firm. However much you put them before yourselves and help them in their time of need , even when you know you have more important things to do. The bottom line is you can’t expect a human being to show gratitude. Expecting someone to realize how much you have sacrificed for them is basically like setting yourself up for a life of misery. I mean how can I expect gratitude from a being that doesn’t show gratitude to its creator (forget me a mere mortal)!

Most of my friends know me as a happy go lucky type of person who takes things as they. Which I do….more so now than before. But underneath all the smiles and jokes, somewhere deep inside the cobwebs that make up my mind lives a confused girl lost somewhere at sea, trying to find her way ashore. When I meet people I do so with a clean heart and good faith ( as Allah is my witness). I try not to hurry in making negative assumption about people, instead I try to look for their positive side. Sometimes people take advantage of this character trait which makes me wonder why I tired so hard to find their good side (some people just dont have a good side unfortunately)

I come from a close knit family (I’m talking my nuclear family and my mum’s sister family). My mum and her sis are so close that both families see each other as an extended nuclear family. We have been through so much together and conquered so many obstacles, each bringing us even more closer. I was living away from everyone else so I had to go through my own obstacles and discovering the dark side of people (which wasn’t pleasant) and realizing who was there for me in my time of need. I have always been an independent person but sometimes there comes a time when you end up needing another human being. I pray to Allah to make me one who is dependant on Him and Him alone…..ameen. I pray Allah never puts me in a position where I have to rely on another human being…..ameen.

I will always try my best to be there for whoever needs my help, be it a friend or stranger. Because I believe if I want Allah help I have to help my fellow human beings (especially my Muslim brothers and sisters). I will readily help anyone if it is within my power……..even the ones who didn’t help me when I needed it (because this could be my big test in this world for all I know). I mean our life in this world is but a preparation for the hereafter where we would spend eternity. Its basically like when u sit for your exams….if you have done all the right things and worked hard then you will expect good grades but if you spent your time wasting it on mindless things instead of studying then you will surely fail. Our life here is like that exam…..if we have worked hard and performed righteous deeds then by the mercy of Allah we can expect the reward of Jannah.

I mean our whole life is for the sake of Allah and him alone. We are not here to impress our fellow human beings….we are here to worship Allah by doing what is halal and avoiding that which is haram. Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of our lives we tend to forget this.

Right now am confused about the study choices I have made. I thought biomedical science was for me for me but I’m realizing that I am more suited to a more hands own type of course. I still want to be involved in science (I have real passion for learning about the workings of the human body. I just find it fascinating). There are so many things I want to do with my life but yet I don’t know where to begin. One thing is for sure, I want to be involved in a career where I am able to give something back to the community. I want to do these in an environment where I deal with people as opposed to sitting in lab dealing with their products. It’s my first year in uni and already I am going through a bout of confusion. But alhamdulillah, it’s better for me to realise that this might not be the course for me now rather than three years down the line (after dedicating a lot of time and effort to it).

What has brought all this on? It’s not even that time of the month for me yet…..and still I am experiencing all these emotions. It seems I have been going on and on about what is wrong in my life but let me just say that I am thankful for those people in my life who do look out for me and will look out for me. I am also grateful for the ones who will surprise me by having my back when I least expect it (because I still have hope that people like this might come along…….Allah (SW) always asks us to keep hope because we don’t know what is in store for us).

I guess it’s time for me to wrap up this post………I have ranted enough. Ya Allah increase the love between the ummah and help us conquer the whispers of the shaytan and guide us on the straight path……ameen

Wha wha wha............what?

2006-05-24T01:48:00.000+01:00

I know I said that next time I blog it will something interesting……..but here I am once again writing rubbish. Hold on……isn’t that why I have a blog? So I can write anything and everything I want? Well it doesn’t matter if that’s the case or not coz I’m going to write this piece for the hell of writing. Actually I want to rant but I don’t know how I’m going to put it into words right now. It’s probably a good thing because right now is should be sleeping and if not at least doing some revision for my paper tomorrow. But what do you know…….I never do what I should be doing when I need to do it ( I think I just confused myself)

Anyway…apologies to Idealist. Girl I didn’t realise you were at the circle……and I was wearing my glasses so no excuses. Honestly though….I just thought you were at work…with you going through night shifts and all. Anyway I miss you homez…when are these shifts going to be over so that we can have coffee (and cake) and just catch up.

NM…..you better make sure you send that application on Thursday . Or else…………I’m going to leave you to fill in the blanks. Lol

MD……when I feel less tired I am going to write a blog as the “for shizo” NF. However I’m not promising anything…………..lool

WA….that impression of the squatting girls at a certain high school is still cracking me up…lool.

Its nearly 2am and I’m still awake……my sisters will be arriving in 6hours inshaAllah. I won’t be going to the airport to pick them up though…….I’ll be baby sitting little AbdulKareem. He is so cute mashaAllah. May Allah preserve his father for him again…ameen. Today his dad didn’t want to leave his son…….you should have seen the look on his face….the grown man wanted to cry. He was begging my mum to take good care of his son…….he kept saying “we only have each other……we have no other family with us”. SubhanAllah……..may Allah help us take good care of this man’s son……ameen.

Anyway peeps…….am going to try and sleep inshaAllah. Till next time ……may peace and love be with you all………. :)

I need to recharge

2006-05-22T18:48:00.000+01:00

Ok, it’s been a long weekend. We were refurbishing the house and our target was to finish by Sunday night. We started on Thursday night.

Well it’s now Monday evening and we are done……well we were done on Sunday night actually. I’m in between exams….in fact I just came back from a chemistry paper. It was an ok paper….not good but not bad either. In between painting the whole house and revising for my exams am exhausted. Having the typical English weather of rain and cold air aint helping a bit. It’s May for god sake……we need some sunshine. I better not complain though….rain is a blessing (alhamdulillah ya Allah…..thank you for providing us with this rain).

My house is slowly turning into a full one. I remember five months ago I was just by myself in the big house…..now the house doesn’t feel big anymore (which is a great thing by the way). Two of my little sisters will be showing up soon and we are also going to be having a temporary addition to our family. His name is Abdul Kareem…..he is just under two and sooo cute. He will be staying with us coz his father is undergoing surgery (may Allah make it easy for him ameen, and may Allah also preserve Abdul Kareem’s father for him ameen). I will have a lil’ kid to run around and play with……am so happy. The icing on the cake will now be getting these exams over with. Three down and two to go. May Allah make the outcome of these exams one that is kheir for me…..ameen.

Anyway…this aint much of a post but let me recharge my batteries and then I’ll post something that is a little interesting inshaAllah :)

Lost in a whirlwind

2006-05-21T01:19:00.000+01:00

Somewhere in the west 2006

In a foreign land coz I have no peace

Fled to save my life, now I’m a refugee

Gained independence in the year 1960

Our grandfathers fought to gain liberation

Now we are scattered as citizens of other nations

Warlords shedding blood in the name of Qabil

Sixteen years on we still in a war

Still the same politics back and forth

Disregard for one another cripples our soul

We call ourselves Muslims, where did our iman go

Respect for humanity and the fear of Allah is gone

A whole nation thrown and fed to the dogs

The youth grows with questions of where they belong

All because we couldn’t get along

I ask myself is there still hope

A day where we wake up in the morn

And the Qabil you are won’t matter no more

Back to the days of being dignified people

Where we can say we from Somalia, strong and proud

I wonder is this a dream on a distant cloud?

I aint much of a poet. I'm not an artist, am a scientist. However this was the only way I could think of expressing myself right now. I'm just currently lost in web of emotions. Wish I could just sit here and type it all up, maybe gain some sort of "emotional deliverance" . I have so much to say but the words seem so little. Not enough to do justice to what lies in the crevices of my mind and soul right now. With this jumble of words I bid you farewell until I blog again.

SHE AIN'T A DELIVERY WOMAN, SHE IS MY SUPER WOMAN

2006-05-17T02:04:00.000+01:00

She is the one who carried you for
nine months in her tummy,
the one who when she felt u kicking felt so happy.
Who when she gave birth to u felt so light,
the one who always prayed for u to have a future so bright.
The one who cried when u cried,
the one who will do anything just to see u smile
The one who always wanted to be there when the first things happened,
like when u uttered your first words.
The one who wouldn't exchange u for anything in the whole wide world.
The one who will always take u for who u are,
the one who will always care for u even though u tear her apart.
The one who will always think about u where ever u may be near or far,
the one who is always going to be the queen of my heart.
The one who's love cant be repaid or measured,
the one who is always going to be my treasure.
The one who accepts your apologies even though u make here feel so sad,
the one who holds u in her arms like u were a new born baby.
The one who will always love you even if u r good or bad,
the one I will always treat with respect, coz I love my mummy.

Dedicated 2 all the mothers in the world!!

If the whole world were to give up on me I know my mama would be right by my side loving me unconditionaly. For that I can never repay her.

Jannah lies at the feet of your mother so y'all best be seeking Jannah and kissing your mama's feet!

Peace, Love and Chicken Grease

AFRICA! AFRICA!

2006-05-16T01:14:00.000+01:00

Yo!
incase you aint know I go by the name of Native Female and am from
Africa Africa
Home of the frankincense and myrrh. Am from Somalia. Eastside!
Africa Africa
So ama share with you where am from and how it was coming up
Africa Africa

So what you know about
The struggles that my ancestors went through so you could live the way you live now

Say what you know about
Seeing that brand new mother giving away her new born child

So what you know about
Mr M . A Hassan who the British army tried to shoot down

So what you know about
How people love to perceive us when we come into a brand new town

Now what you know about
The city of Seylac where all my people lived refined

What you know about
Being born in the struggle, avoiding bullets from the blue sky

Still from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Coming from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Coming from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Yes am coming from the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa

So what you know about
Canjeero, soor, codkac and mufoo my favourite foods

So what you know about
Brothers throwing rocks, busting shots at the military invading my home

What you know about
Kids with automatic machines waiting for the war to get on their side

So what you know about
How God comes first in our lives, everything that we do is for ALLAH

So what you know about
That old land called Punt where perfume was sought

So what you know about
Coming here, getting money, investing it back home

Right in the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Give it to the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Take it to the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa
Send it right to the ghettos of Somalia
Africa Africa

See this was just a little piece about my the mother land.
Africa Africa
See we could come together and make it a lot better back home
Africa Africa
So don’t complain about how they treat you here, take your millions of pounds there
Africa Africa
We own that man, we own those diamonds
Africa Africa

Dedicated to all my African brothers and sisters. What they know about our ancient libraries in Timbuktu, our pyramids in Egypt , our gold and diamonds in South Africa, our oil in Nigeria……to name a few of our treasures. What they know about us!
Africa Africa
One love!!

Akon made a great song. If I had a car it will thumping loudly from it but for now my neighbours have to put up with my singing and loud music!
Africa Africa

Real World?!

2006-05-08T22:10:00.000+01:00

Just watched dispatches on channel four. The topic was the condition of women in Iraq three years after the war. The documentary was just tear wrenching. I mean the people of Iraq are truly suffering! The documentary mainly focused on the lives of two women; Intisar who was a pharmacist and Rayaa a gynaecologist. These women worked to help the people of their country despite the curfews, shootings, short medical supplies, lack of equipment……and this is just a few of the obstacles they faced!

A whole nation shattered in the name of democracy. Their country destroyed and families’ torn apart, children orphaned. Mothers lose their sons, wives their husbands and sisters their brothers.

The country is in a state of pandemonium! The liberation they expected form the Americans and British is long overdue. Resentment for the occupying force rings loud from every corner.

The troops bombed hospitals and residential homes. The whole point of the war was to get rid of the dictator and to help build the country; instead it has turned into a competition of how many buildings can be destroyed in a day and how to rob the people of their assets with their eyes open.

Saddam, Bush and Blair are all dictators. The thing that sets Bush and Blair apart from Saddam is that they practice their dictatorship in other people’s countries and torture other nations. Why did they single Saddam out? Well, because he was willing to stand up to them and to show them that they weren’t that different from him.

The western world knows how to prosecute and bring to trial other nations dictators. That was the case with the Serbian dictator Milosevic (who massacred a great number of Muslims during his rule) who recently died. My conspiracy theory concerning his death was that he was killed by the American and British intelligence. The last time the Milosevic trial was broadcast Milosevic said that Clinton and Blair should stand to trial with him. He believed they were as guilty as he was. The UN (or was it NATO…I forget) lead thousands of Muslim Serb men into a trap and watched them being persecuted so I don’t find Milosevic’s idea illogical in the least bit.

Sitting here I wonder if this is what we are living with then what does the world have in store have for our future generations. I hope by the grace of Allah one day (soon) I am able to have children but I ask myself what kind of world I would be bringing them up in.

It is very perturbing because I know in order for things to get better they have to get worse first, much worse!

MOTHER, MAMA, HOOYO, UMMI!

2006-04-26T03:05:00.000+01:00

MOTHER (Sami Yusuf)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Beautiful song!
This is dedicated to my gorgeous mothers (my mom and her sister) whom I love with all my heart and soul! Indeed I will be lost without you both!

Blessed is your face

Blessed is your name

My beloved

Blessed is your smile

Which makes my soul want to fly

My beloved

All the nights

And all the times

That you cared for me

But I never realised it

And now it’s too late

Forgive me

Now I’m alone filled with so much shame

For all the years I caused you pain

If only I could sleep in your arms again

Mother I’m lost without you

You were the sun that brightened my day

Now who’s going to wipe my tears away

If only I knew what I know today

Mother I’m lost without you

Ummahu, ummahu, ya ummi (Mother, mother, O mother)

wa shawqahu ila luqyaki ya ummi (How I long to see you O mother)

Ummuka, ummuka, ummuka ummuka (Your mother, Your mother, Your mother, Your mother)

Qawlu rasulika (Is the saying of our Prophet)

Fi qalbi, fi hulumi (In my heart and in my dreams)

Anti ma’i ya ummi (You are always with me mother)

Ruhti wa taraktini (You went and left me)

Ya nura ‘aynayya (O light of my eyes)

Ya unsa layli (O comfort of my nights)

Ruhti wa taraktini (You went and left me)

Man siwaki yahdhununi (Who other than you will embrace me)

Man siwaki yasturuni (Who other than you will cover me)

Man siwaki yahrusuni (Who other than you will guard me)

‘Afwaki ummi Samihini.... (Your pardon mother, forgive me)

Ya nura 3ayni....that's my hoyo, she is the light of my eyes!
Mama nipe radhi! Mother grant me your blessings! Hooyo isoducaay!

9 Annoying Habits About Everyone!

2006-04-20T01:05:00.000+01:00

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid £6 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

An old friend of mine sent me this so I thought I would post it instead of a more personal blog........so it doesn’t look like I am neglecting my corner. Made me laugh but not as loud as I hoped................ still something though!

You spice tea?!

2006-04-07T19:06:00.000+01:00

We have new neighbours! They haven’t moved in yet....the decorators are in doing their thing for now. My uncle came from Jummah prayers today and saw one of these decorators.....being the person that he is, he offered to make the man some tea.
He came home and got to work.....started putting the kettle on and adding spices to the water. Ten minutes later the tea was ready (the tea wasn’t black tea......rather tea made with milk). Anyway, he poured the tea into the thermostat and took it to the decorator. However, he forgot to mention to the poor guy that it was tea with spice (he was an English man who was used to drinking normal tea without spice). The man tasted the tea.......the look on his face was priceless!
Poor guy kept gulping down the tea......eventually he finished it but he returned the thermostat saying.......“I wouldn’t mind some of that next time”. Although I wonder is this English politeness or did he genuinely like the tea?
Guess only way to find out is making him more tea.....and watching the look on his face!

38hrs later......after the game!!

2006-04-07T00:53:00.000+01:00

This blog should have been posted yesterday, but that was practically impossible! As soon as i got home I had a shower and went straight to bed(at 6:45pm)..........that's how exhausted I was!! I didn't even get to see my mummy for a whole 24hrs........and we were in the same house! When I left she was in bed and when I came home she was at work......unbelievable!
So anyway, yesterday we had our basketball tournament. I am member of the Muslim sisters basketball team…..I play for my uni (by now am sure you are picturing a bunch of hijabees in jalbabs bouncing a ball around……….that‘s what I thought when I heard about it first but I tried out for the team made it and here we are). We had a local tournament involving the universities in the city and the winner would qualify for the nationals. I was excited even though I was ill and missed a couple of practices……..I mean I was psyched!
Had an early start…….left the house by 9am. Had an hour of warm up and pep talks…..the game kicked off at 11:30am. While warming up I thought I’d scope out the competition……..I realized I was one of two black people playing (the other black member was my team mate). This kind of made a little self conscious…..but I thought we are all sisters so let’s get on with it.
We ended up being the first team up playing against team MU. First half of the game I kept shooting and missing, our defence was crap……we were losing by 13 points. The whistle blew for half time and we left the court feeling a little down…….I was personally kicking myself (metaphorically speaking of course…..I wasn’t literally kicking myself….lol). We had a bit of a pep talk and discussed tactics…….the coach kept telling us to focus and that I should take my time while shooting and don’t be intimidated.
Second half……we came back strong. I still wasn’t scoring but I played a mean attack. This half was enjoyable……..we lost by 5 points but we were smiling coz this second half was ours!
Our second game of the day was with team S. This was our comeback game……the first half was great and we were winning (I even managed a trick…..purely unintentional and accidental but nonetheless it was a hot trick…….I sound so egotistical……but still it was a hot trick…..lol). The second half was even better we were back in the game……….but I was injured (the ball snapped my fingers backward, I had to snap them back into shape again and it hurt like hell but I sucked it up!). The game was over and we were winning by 15 points…….man I even did a little dance!
We were through to the semi finals but the last game was a very competitive one…..we lost by 3 points. This was the most enjoyable game even though I got elbowed in the shoulder and it still hurts. We were doing great plus I even managed a few shots but unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be (but alhamdulillah ‘ala kuli hal!). We didn’t get through to the nationals which was disappointing but as I said it wasn’t meant to be!
At the end of the tournament we all went out for a meal and it was fun…….we still had love for each other even though we were rivals. I was afraid we would want to tear each others hair our and that I would leave the place black eyed peas style……….wondering where is the love? We joked and ate……..it was an all round brilliant day plus I got a ride home (I was dreading getting the bus coz my body was aching!).
Got home with the mother of all headaches and an aching body! My little brother was the only one home…..after saying my salaams I just hit the shower one more time, put on my pyjamas and was in bed.
I woke up this morning with the worst body ache ever…….but am embracing it. Went for a jog and also lifted some dumbbells even though my elbowed shoulder and the fingers I snapped still hurt!
Told my mom about the game and she said all the right stuff and made all the right noises. But when she saw that I was hurting she told me I should give up basketball………it’s a dangerous game she said (bless her soul)! This is the funny part though I mentioned the only thing I enjoy more than basketball is dance and she suggested I take belly dancing classes (you should have seen my brothers face when she said it….it was a picture). Apparently it’s a good way of keeping fit……while at the same time being ladylike (My mum wants me to be more ladylike......Somali stlye. So far no big change has taken place). I love my mum….she never ceases to amaze me! May Allah bless her soul and grant her a long life…..ameen!

Say what?!

2006-04-02T21:55:00.000+01:00

Something wierd has happened to me. I haven't drunk tea for a week. Am not sure you are going to appreciate how much of a big deal this is......I mean am telling you that tea was my life. I couldn't function without tea, for real!
Let me make you understand the depth of this thing here. On a normal day for past twelve years i have averaged on four cups of strong tea a day. I come from kenya (where some of the best tea is found) so me and tea were inseparable..........hell we went together like white on rice. Our names were synonamous.........you wouldn't think of tea without thinkin of me!
I hope you now understand how this feels.........I have been trying to give up tea or at least reduce my intake, but I never thought it will happen like this. So sudden, I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye......or drink my last cup of beautiful kenyan tea. It just happened........I woke up one morning and boom!....I didn't want anymore tea.
Now am trying to get used to life without tea....no stimulant to take me through the day. It's hard life albeit a healthy one.Live on juice and water as forms of fluids......kinda cool but still its nto cool. I miss tea!!!!!
This has left me saying............say what?

why oh why

2006-03-25T02:56:00.000Z

Spent the whole afternoon at home....bored completely out of my mind i ventured downstairs but no-one was home but my mummy (who, by the way has contracted the flu from me after spending so much time caring for me....bless her soul) and she looked she was nodding off to lala land. So I grabbed a cup of hot tea with black peper and took it up to my room (black peper is meant to combact the cold.......the hot tea was for my own pleasure.........c'mon, something gotta give ryt? after all those horrible tasting herbs I've been taking I deserve it). Had my tea while chatting on msn to one of my friends...she soon went offline though and I was left with myself and boredom.
My brotther came home a few hours later and decided to look for me (i guess he missed his big sis). He cam upstairs and asked me if theres anything i need (the answer was no) and then he decided to chill with me. Spent a couple of hours telling me wild stories about himself.....making me laugh a lot. By the end of it I was so hyped up I started telling the wild stories (sometimes its a big mistake to tell your little brother about the crazy stuff you've done.........but I guess me and my siblings are cool that way). I told him some crazy stuff....this went on for a couple of hours. In the end I had to give up because my throat was starting to hurt. But it was too late.......I already overdid the limit and now am suffering the consequences. My throat hurts like hell.......much worse than before. Hell, it hurts to breath!! and i have lost my voice completely!! But i have no-one to blame for this one.....it's all my fault...me me me . I guess i have to try to get some sleep and hope that by tomorrow I fell better inshaAllah. hopefully by Monday I can go back to class and try and catch up................joy oh joy!

Late night random rumblings!!

2006-03-24T00:16:00.000Z

Thursday night..........actually i think friday morning would be more acurate (since its after midnight). I have been suffering from the worst flu ever since monday. I have been bed ridden for three days now and its gettin pretty boring an painful. I thought i was finally going to get away with it this year.............but this neverending winter(i guess a year without me suffering from the the flu was a lilttle too ambitious). This flu couldn't have come at worst timed moment, i missed my friendly game on wednesday because of it and i also missed some much needed revision classes.....my only consolation is that it might be an expiation of my sins (inshaAllah that would be the case).
Since I have been reduced to spending my days in bed resting........me and the television have become re-aquainted. Channel surfing has become my favourite past-time.......who would have thought i would find respite in daytime television! Wierdly as soon as my doorbel rings i forget daytime tv(now theres a suprise)..........i get this feeling of excitement (maybe its someone coming to save me from my boredom......before it kills me) and i open the door with a big smile on my face but as soon as the person on the otherside side sees the state am in, they soon make some lame excuse about how they gotta be somewhere! Hey its only the flu......not some life threatening disease(not when you are healthy young person who isn't suffering from a longterm chronic disease anyway). But I cant blame them.....i'll probably run in the other direction if I saw me in this state too!
Since channel surfing is my new past-time.....I have been introduced to lot of stuff (main one is daytime tv is boring.......its geared towards housewives, pensioners and kids too young to go to school.....and i dont fit into any of those categories). But i gotta say tonight after watching my fav medical program, House (its just so real.....and fun!) I decided to do a spot of channel surfing (armed with the remote in my hand, a cup of orange juice next to me, my cell phone on vibrate......I was ready to do some serious surfing!) so i flicked back from channel 5 to channel 4.......and that was the end of my so called serious surfing. There was a compelling documentary on some racist political party in South Africa (kinda like the BNP only more active, open and in Africa). The members had some long Dutch surnames which I am not even going to attempt to write.......however the leaders first name was Eugene...hhhmmm. Anyway......this has made me wonder, how can someone have the nerve of going to another man's homeland and treat them as the inferior. I mean its's like someone visiting my home and then telling me that they are better than me and that my home now belongs to them and from now on i gotta bow to them and call them master, be at their beck and call or else I will be facing dire conequences.....and all because of the colour of my skin. Am sorry but i find it difficult to understand how someone has the audacity to do such a thing.....especially to a fellow human being. I don' t know......maybe it was how i was brought up.......but I have always believed no human being is superior to another....whether it be through intellect or aesthetics. After all we are all equal in the sight of Allah as He says in surah Al Hujraat chapter 49 verse 13 of the Holy Qur'an: "O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)."
I think its time we took some time out and contemplated on the meaning of this ayah (verse)......wether you are a muslim or non-muslim. And with this final thought I think am gonna say good night........and try to count some sheep so that i can fall asleep.........till next time.....
peace out!